I know you’ve probably gotten about fifty emails about this by now, but my goodness, this is hilarious. Almost as in backlash to Nintendo’s conference, I’m seeing a lot of hardcore on forums desperately latch onto the new glowy magical-princess wand, proudly declare it outshines the Motion Plus in every way, say how angry Nintendo must be to be ‘outdone at their own game’… It’s incredible. I believed they would cling to Microsoft on this matter, certainly never Sony. But cling they have.
A personal favorite from the Nintendo conference is this line: “The problem with Nintendo’s press conference is that year after year everyone tells them we want a Zelda that isn’t a Gamecube port, Pilotwings, F-Zero, Star Fox, you know, their classic franchises. And every year they instead trot out Pantsuit B*tch to talk about fashion games.”
Ignoring the ever-present insecure-hatred of a middle aged woman intruding on their precious gaming, this is a conference where Nintendo announced TWO main-line Mario games at one, a new action packed Metroid, and a revival of the fan-favorite Golden Sun… And yet the ‘They don’t give us the classic franchises we want!’ line is still being thrown around. Hardcore literally have to selectively pick and choose every detail just so they can whine, because if we aknowledge Metroid and Mario as longrunning important to gamer franchises, suddenly we can’t complain anymore!
As you, and I’m sure many who have emailed you say: Either I’ve lost my mind, or everyone else has.
In its essence, gaming is an emotional medium. We do something, we get rewarded (or punished). Emotions are made. Much of our life is determined by our emotional stablity.
But it seems as if the hardcore have been using games like an emotional high so long, they have become emotionally unstable. A hardcore who stands firm against motion controls is one thing. A hardcore who praises motion control when it finally appears on a HD Twin is laughable. It has been a strange breakdown into madness…
E3 2005: “‘Iwata saying that horsepower and technology no longer matter? It is because only Nintendo no longer matters! Revolution!?’ Stupid Nintendo! They know they can’t compete against the awesome blossom of HD gaming! Whoo hooo!”
E3 2006: “I hate those Nintendo fans. They make that long huge line to find the Wii. Wii isn’t that popular. It is because Nintendo marketing made the booth so it couldn’t hold any people and, thus, resulted in the long line. That motion controller is not going to fly. High definition gaming! Yeah! That is the next generation!”
E3 2007: “I can’t wait until that Wii fad stops. What is this? Wi Fit? With exercise moms? WII FIT IS THE ARMAGEDDON OF GAMING!”
E3 2008: “Nintendo has abandoned the hardcore and gone totally for ‘casual’ gaming. Serves you right, Nintendo dorks, for listening Nintendo in the first place. OMG! Final Fantasy 13 for Xbox 360! OMG OMG OMG OMG MEEEEGAAAATOOOOONNNNN!!!!! w00t w00t! I love hardcore gaming! Haha Nintendo fans and their stupid Wii Music and motion controls! HA HA HA HA!”
E3 2009: “……..
XBOX FAN: “My motion controller is better than yours!”
PS FAN: “Not uhh!”
MALSTROM: (laughs)
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