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Email: I’m buying Donkey Kong Country Returns

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And here’s why:

I also realize now that much of the enjoyment I get from Sonic games is similar to the minecart levels shown in that video. I’m definitely not much of a Sonic fan.

Emailer, you are being ridiculous! We were told for over a decade that gamers do not like 2d games and that ‘2d games have gone out of fashion’. Just as Nintendo was said to be ‘committing suicide’ with making 2d Mario for the Wii, Nintendo appears to be committing further suicide by making 2d Donkey Kong for the Wii. If you cup your hands over your ear, you can hear The Industry whispering. Quiet, reader, and you can hear them:

“………sssssssssssssssssss musssst make a Donkey Kong 64 sequel…. sssssssss …. this Donkey Kong Country game shows how LAZY Nintendo is… sssssss…. why doesn’t Nintendo care about the HARDCORE GAMER?…. sssssssssss”

I am constantly amazed at how easily Nintendo allows itself to be manipulated by The Industry. Here’s a sampling:

The Industry: “This Mario 64 game is the most amazing thing ever! We are in awe of it. We suggest you make every Mario game from here on like Mario 64.”

Nintendo: “OK!”

Result: Mario 64 flops in Japan and only really sells in America. Constant making of 3d Mario keeps having Nintendo hardware in decline. When DS came out with Mario 64 DS, the PSP soon began to outsell it.

The Industry: “The art style of Wind Waker is fantastic! All Zelda games should adopt this style!”

Nintendo: “Yeah!”

Result: Zelda franchise enters steep decline.

The Industry: “Nintendo needs to get away from kiddie games. It is time for mature games on the Gamecube!”

Nintendo: “Mature games? OK!”

Result: Gamecube sales fall off a cliff.

The Industry: “Nintendo needs to design their consoles more around what third parties want.”

Nintendo: “Sounds good to me! The more games on our system, the better!”

Result: Third parties completely ignore the Nintendo console aside from some crappy licensed game for kids.

The Industry: “Ack! Stop all these ‘casual games’, Nintendo! Give us games for the hardcore! That is what you need to succeed!”

Nintendo: “OK! Here is some Mario Galaxy 2, Metroid: Other M, Sin and Punishment 2, etc.”

Result: Wii sales fall off a cliff.

The Industry: “It is time for Nintendo to lower the price of the Wii. With a price cut, Wii sales will explode!”

Nintendo: “OK! Let’s do it!”

Result: Wii sales keep declining.

When Nintendo defies The Industry, good things happen to gamers and Nintendo.

The Industry: “Why is your console not in HD? Why does it have a stupid gimmick controller? Nintendo needs to get with the times! In order to sell, the console must be HD. The console must be able to playback DVDs and Blu-Ray. You must compete with the PS3 and Xbox 360, not do this Blue Ocean junk you keep talking about.”

Nintendo: “FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!”

Result: Wii sales explode and completely demolish PS3 and Xbxo 360.

The Industry: “Do not make this New Super Mario Brothers Wii. We don’t need more 2d games. People don’t like them. Do something else.”

Nintendo: “!”

Result: Mario 5 sells out, and causes Wii hardware to explode in sales.

The Industry is intentionally telling Nintendo the wrong things to do. Incredibly, Nintendo keeps taking the advice of The Industry.

The reason why The Regginator appealed to Nintendo fans (Reggie Fils-Aime as cyborg superhero who held both the Xbox 360 and PS3 in his hands and would shoot laser beams at them with his eyes) was because he represented a big middle finger to The Game Industry. If people enjoyed the direction The Industry was taking gaming, then people should be flocking to gamer’s banner. Instead, gamers are running away.

And yeah, Donkey Kong Country Returns looks great. Retro seems to be very apt at bringing to life old franchises that Nintendo has run into the ground. What is next on Retro’s plate? Starfox?

Startropics?

A new 2d Zelda? (As Nintendo doesn’t want to make it, and Retro’s 3d Zelda prototype didn’t work out..)

Or, perhaps since Nintendo ran Metroid into the ground again, Retro can once again bring it back to life. This time… in amazing 2d…


Above: So nice when a Metroid doesn’t have ‘maternal instincts’.

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