I honestly don’t know what to make of this. Is Retro losing its touch, or is it preventing what may be a much worse Mario Kart? (Ya know, the one Nintendo WANTS to make) I’m going to wait to judge, but I’d hate to lose another one of the few game companies whom I respect.
Going off that, I apologize if I sound like I’m ranting but:
I’m done. Period. Wii U tells me Nintendo has no idea what it’s doing. Nintendo claims the Wii U can be used for all sorts of new “innovation.” Too bad whatever cool games for Wii U that may have come out never will. Nintendo is too self centered to use any potential any of their consoles have, mainly because it requires actual work. Instead it’ll just be gimmicky crap that tries to wrangle us into whatever they want. *cough3DMariocough* (sorry about that, summer allergies, of course)
Also, the name. Do you notice how close the Wii U is to the Wii 2. It rhymes it’s that close. And that’s what it’s going to be: A lot of let down promises and potential. I’m sick of that word, potential.
“Potential 3D this, Potential controller screen that. Na na na, we’re so cool. Shut up and buy our console. Why don’t you bow down to us at all. We’re building a church, the church of Nintendo, and our Bible is a list of things we like about ourselves. Every day all the parishioners get to listen about the things we like our ourselves. We’re Nintendo, we’re game gods, hell, we’re better then God Himself. Pretty soon even Jesus and the Holy Spirit will listen to us blab about ourselves. We’ll air Mary as our flagship women in our new “interactive 3D/screen controller movie” Stuff we like about ourselves. Everyone will buy it. Malstrom can go die in a hole. Blah Blah Blah Gamers are stupid Blah Blah Blah the casual audience is stupid Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah”
….
I could go on, I have pages written. It’s not hard to write so much about them the way Nintendo is going. Maybe I should print them out and send to their front door with a big KISS MY ASS written on it.
*Sigh* That felt really good. Anyway, keep it up, you make me smile in the midst of this dark era (the last dark era of Nintendo? I like that name, when I finish school I’ll make a game about it. I already know the ending, I think we all do, deep down)
I think Retro’s involvement is being overstated. There are some Donkey Kong Country Returns tracks and Retro is sending over art assets and all.
Pictured Above: Doctor Malstrom smokes to show how healthy he is…
I have a new title now: Doctor Malstrom. It appears I have become a doctor of gaming. So readers, tell me your despair and hopelessness and see if Doctor Malstrom can take it away! After this E3, it seems a doctor is needed more than ever!
And my waiting room is full…
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