Above: Malstrom defends the Arcade Alamo while wearing his racoon-tail hat.
It is a victory for the Old Schoolers! Nintendo has announced four new Select titles at $20. They are Super Mario Strikers, Super Paper Mario, Punch-Out!, and Super Mario Galaxy.
Yes, Super Mario Galaxy. Hyped to be the biggest Mario game ever only to play second fiddle, market-value wise, to the true Mario games.
This game is now more expensive than Super Mario Galaxy.
This game is now more expensive than Super Mario Galaxy. It was released in 2006 and is still in the top ten list!
This game is more expensive than Super Mario Galaxy. And it is nothing more than Super Mario All-Stars on a disc. It is around $30. Since it is out of print (due to being a ‘special release’), the price range often goes above $30. Nintendo should just keep SNES Mario All-Stars as a consistent game at $30 and watch it still sell more than Super Mario Galaxy.
The Other Select Titles
I can’t say much about Punch-Out because I haven’t really played it. I’ve been saving Wii games to play later (since I won’t be getting another game console in maybe a decade apparently).
Super Mario Strikers Charged is one I recommend. However, it is a bad single player game. But it is one of the best multiplayer games out there for the Wii. My nephews always play this game when they come over.
Did you know that Super Paper Mario, when released, was Nintendo saying to those advocating for new home console 2d Mario that, “Certainly Super Paper Mario should satisfy you 2d Mario fans”??? I’m serious. Nintendo actually thought Super Paper Mario would satisfy the 2d Mario crowd. But Super Paper Mario is to 2d Mario as Aonuma Zelda is to Classic Zelda. Gameplay is not molded around arcade precision. Lots of crappy NPCs that do nothing but vomit paragraphs. And then the game switches to 3d for ‘puzzles’. This is the anti-2d Mario game. It is as if Aonuma directed it.
Miyamoto said the game had to be made because of an idea of ‘combining 2d and 3d gameplay’ which apparently meant ‘crappy puzzles’. I despise this company policy of using ‘ideas’ like old food in the back of the fridge. It should be thrown away in the trash. The best ideas are those that happen when you work on the game, not before you work on the game. Think with your hands, not with your head. This Nintendo policy is why Nintendo cannot make any new exciting software that isn’t a puppy or fitness simulator.
Super Paper Mario is such a crying shame. An actual 2d Mario RPG would be extremely exciting. It would be like combining 2d Mario and Classic Zelda or Metroid. It would be like combining vanilla ice-cream and chocolate ice-cream. We will never see a 2d Mario RPG because Nintendo HATES 2d Mario and HATES Classic Zelda/Classic Metroid as well. But boy, Nintendo loves Crappy NPCs and Puzzles which is why Mario, Zelda, and Metroid games are nothing more today than ‘crappy NPCs’ and ‘puzzles’.
Above: Soon, the soundtrack will be more expensive than the game (which is as it should be).
Meanwhile, here is a message from Nintendo President, Satoru Iwata:
“Hello. My name is Satoru Iwata, President of Nintendo. Years ago, I told you never to expect Nintendo software to have a price cut. The reasoning is because if software is expected to have a price cut, then gamers will just not buy the game and wait for the price cut. As you can see, I have changed my thinking on this.
“I used to also say that Nintendo hardware needs to be sold at a profit, and the Sony model of selling hardware at a loss to be risky and wrong. As you can see with the latest 3DS price cut, I have changed my thinking on this.
“The reason why I have changed my thinking on this is because my company is unhealthily obsessed with 3d. Unknown to the public, Nintendo’s passion has been 3d inside our walls. There were consoles like the Virtual Boy, for example.
“Lately, I have been faced with a strong dilemma. With the 3DS not selling, I had two choices. Either accept reality that the market doesn’t share our passion for 3d, or completely throw out all Nintendo business principles so we can keep pushing 3d and Gamecube-esque games. Naturally, I threw out all Nintendo business principles. Remember, I am a developer first. Therefore, the market is wrong and must be educated. We’ll do everything we can to push our vision of 3d gaming. We’ll sell hardware at a loss. We’ll cut prices to software. We’ll adopt Sony’s business model.
“Lastly, it is important that our customers only view appropriate Nintendo websites (which includes an obligatory Miyamoto shrine). Certain villains are standing in the way of our glorious 3d crusade like that mean spirited Sean Malstrom. He is the true enemy of Nintendo, always rejecting where we developers wish to take gaming and asserts his desires. Gaming isn’t what the market wants. Gaming is only what Miyamoto wants. It is time for you all to accept that.
“Oh, and stop asking for a Select Version of Metroid Prime Trilogy. If Sakamoto can’t have Metroid to be the way he wants it, then no one is going to get Metroid. Remember gamers, it is our way, not your way.”
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