Miyamoto illustrates his mission to eliminate 2d Mario from existence

Watch this. What else can one think?

Why not just make the game the market wants? Why make a game the market doesn’t want?

Super Mario 64 failed to get 2d Mario sales.

Super Mario Sunshine failed to get 2d Mario sales.

Super Mario Galaxy failed to get 2d Mario sales.

Super Mario Galaxy 2 failed to get 2d Mario sales.

Anyone want to bet that Super Mario in 3D Land will get 2d Mario sales? Yeah, I thought not.

To the Game Industry and Game Media, Shigeru Miyamoto is some sort of revered icon. But the reality is that to the Mass Market, he is unknown. And when he does become known, Miyamoto is seen as a disgusting little man. Where you hear “passion”, I hear condescending arrogance. Where you see excitement, I see childishness. This is not a great man. It is questionable if he is a man at all.

When he talks about the game, all he does is frame it in trying to get 2d gameplay into 3d Mario. Why not talk about the game’s content? What is the reason for me to buy this game? New Mario games have always been about new adventures and new enemies. But he doesn’t mention any of that at all. The entire mission of the game is to get 2d Mario fans to play 3d Mario. Why don’t 2d Mario fans play 3d Mario? Because he says 3d Mario is ‘too hard’.

3d Mario is not hard at all. It just isn’t fun. It breaks away from the arcade roots. 2d Mario works well because it creates a tactile feel of momentum, of weight. 3d Mario, no matter how it is done, can never replicate this. The question is not why 2d Mario fans refuse to buy 3d Mario. The question is why Miyamoto keeps fighting the market. This is the behavior of a manchild, not a professional game designer (mediocre or genius).

Remember the ‘inclusive’ Nintendo of the DS and Wii where ‘we want everyone to be a gamer’? Note how all that is gone now. Nintendo now wants gaming to be exclusive. You are only allowed to play games if Nintendo’s developers desire to make them. What happened to Iwata decrying this sorry child-like practice in his ‘Heart of the Gamer’ speech?

People wonder, “Why is Malstrom so hostile to Nintendo these days?” Look from my eyes. Everything I enjoy in video games, such as 2d Mario and other 2d games, Nintendo is extremely hostile and is doing their best to eliminate. What other reaction can I have? Am I not allowed to be a gamer? People like myself are not some niche minority. We are the closest gaming can get to the mainstream. We are the 2d Mario and Wii Sports crowd. Whatever motivating Nintendo this generation definitely isn’t business concerns. I guess fossils like Miyamoto just can’t believe they wasted a decade and a half pursuing specialized 3d games when the market didn’t ask for them and do not want them. Nintendo’s behavior reminds me of an old man in denial of how much time and energy he wasted.

The video begins with a factual error. It is the 26th anniversary of Super Mario Brothers, but it is not the 26th anniversary of 2d Mario. 2d Mario begins with Mario Brothers, the arcade 1983 game. One could even argue that 2d Mario really began with Donkey Kong. But it definitely began with Mario Brothers, not Super Mario Brothers. People today forget that the original Mario Brothers was a hit arcade game as well.

Herp Derp: “In 15 of those 26 years, 3d Mario existed longer in his history than just 2d Mario.” Therefore, 3d Mario is the ‘norm’. (In what universe?)

This is so lame, you can see why I have nothing but disgust. Pac-Man platformers have existed in Pac-Man’s history longer than just ‘maze Pac-Man’, but no one associates Pac-Man with the ‘adventure Pac-Man’ games.

Above: ‘Adventure Pac-Man’ has existed longer than ‘maze’ Pac-Man did alone. Therefore, according to Manchild Miyamoto Logic, Adventure Pac-Man is the norm, right? The market clearly says, “No.”

In the same with Mario, the public associates him with 2d Mario. The Tonight Show is demonstrative of this:

Above: No 3d Mario here.

Since Nintendo does not have the sales or the market on side of 3d Mario, they are trying to confuse the issue. This might have worked in the era before the Internet and blogging. But not any longer. Miyamoto does not get to define the value of Mario games. Why? Because he doesn’t buy them. I buy them. I get to define the value.

Miyamoto is not a smart man at all. Even if he succeeded in wiping 2d Mario from existence, all that would occur is that he, himself, would be wiped from existence. His claim to fame is 2d Mario and Classic Zelda (which is no longer made so Miyamoto no longer gets the reputation bonus of that). Should there be no more 2d Mario, there will be no more Miyamoto The Legend. And Nintendo would be in a worse spot than ever.

There has never been a successful Nintendo console without 2d Mario. The 3DS problems only confirm a market rhythm and pattern that began 26 years ago.