I’ll have some more posts about Nintendo coming up, but let’s get this out of the way.
We are told that a 2d Mario for 3DS is being released for the first fiscal quarter. So why is this the first we’re hearing about it? Shouldn’t this have been shown off at E3 2011? Only two reasons as to why:
A) Nintendo hates 2d Mario and hid the game in the hopes 2d Mario fans would be suckered by Tanooki Mario to buy Mario in Crap Land.
B) Nintendo was pressured by the business side of the company to rush and make this game because of 3DS not hitting its sales expectations.
The fact that NSMB 3DS was announced in a business briefing explains a ton. I’m sure Miyamoto was behind the stage giving Malstrom the middle finger when it was announced. “I hate you, Malstrom!” he probably screamed. “I hate you and your 2d Mario loving ways!”
There is nothing to comment about NSMB 3DS until we actually see it. But the name, oh God, the name. Nintendo’s marketing sucks when they used New Super Mario Brothers as a brand. Now it is becoming worse with New Super Mario Brothers 3DS. What a clunky name! Just call it Super Mario Land 5. We don’t need the ‘new’ part of the label anymore. Even just “Super Mario Brothers 3DS” works better.
But there is one thing that greatly bothers me about NSMB 3DS: how Nintendo presented it. This is the Mother of Killer Apps. Yet, Nintendo announces it as if they are trying to hide that it even exists. Someone inside the company really despises 2d Mario. Even those Fire Emblem games got more of an announcement than this.
THIS is how you properly announce a new 2d Mario game:
Hollywood movie style. Yes sir. At least NSMB DS and Super Mario Brothers 5 got mentioned at E3. But noooo, Nintendo doesn’t even bother to mention it.
[Aside: Let me interrupt my own post to point out that E-Sports didn’t start with Korean children in Starcraft or even with PC gaming. Much of it began with the NES and that legendary golden competition cartridge. The Wizard may have introduced Super Mario Brothers 3 but it also introduced E-sports to people as well.]
I’m almost sure that NSMB 3DS is the laziest game ever made in terms of production elements. They blow all the money on these awful 3d Mario games, on giving it these symphonic orchestras, and what do they give the TRUE Mario game? The most mild and lamest production work ever. Why not give 2d Mario a symphony? It, more than any other video game ever made, certainly deserves it.
“No! Only 3d Mario deserves next generation art, sound, and music. 2d Mario gets only re-used and left over assets. Hahahaha.”
What a punk! The reason why I am no longer a supporter of Nintendo is because they have made it crystal clear that the developers are only interested in making games that pleases them, not what pleases the masses. In other words, we get 3d Mario and Aonuma Wacky Zelda games. If it were not for the pressure from the business side, there would be no 2d Mario game made.
While critics will, no doubt, color this next comment in a tin foil hat way, it must be said because no else will say it. If someone was trying to sabotage 2d Mario, this is the way to do it. Release it in the first quarter when sales are always the weakest. Make no actual announcement of it. Make no hype of it. However, hype 3d Mario. Place 3d Mario as a Holiday release. Give 3d Mario the Tanooki tail (which belongs in 2d Mario by the way). The way how Nintendo is going about this certainly deserves some raised eyebrows.
“So will you now buy the 3DS since 2d Mario is coming out on it?”
Wait a minute, let us see what the game is first. Does Nintendo realize the 3DS is a hostile platform to 2d Mario fans in the first place? 2d Mario fans aren’t going to be excited to jump into a platform whose mission is to ram 3d output down everyone’s throats. It’s like releasing Grand Theft Auto 3 on the Gamecube.
But the 3DS is such an uncomfortable gaming device. What idiot placed the D-pad where it is at? I considered the 3DS as even a retro game device to play the Virtual Console games. But with how uncomfortable it is to hold and the placement of the D-pad makes it a no-go.
“Here is Super Mario Brothers 5. Oh, by the way, you can only use the Wii-mote sideways to play the game because of a couple of motion control gimmicks we threw in! We know it is uncomfortable but we do not care! And here is NSMB 3DS on an EVEN MORE UNCOMFORTABLE control scheme. Hahahaha.”
What a jerk!