Email: Smartphones

Sean it’s not just women who are entranced. It’s everybody. This is purely anecdotal but as far as I can see the only “holdouts” to the smartphone revolution are the males. However, both sexes are easily seen as addicted.

I work with a few people who span several generations and I’ve seen smartphones effect a solid male audience from ages 19-50. By solid male I mean those men who are men. Bikers, construction guys, MEN. Men with mustaches! :p Yes women in droves. But men are online as well.

It’s an app thing. What can my phone do that yours cannot? Mine can translate any text viewed through the camera into Spanish, German or French. Like your looking through the eyes of a semi-retarded native speaker. Do you know the looks I get when I show off world lens? It’s a new dick measuring tool and EVERYONE is suspect.

The only holdouts that I’ve come across are those who don’t get it. They say “my pc is better at all of that so who cares?”. My reply? Your PC can’t fit in my pocket. I can’t play league of legends on the go.

A friend of mine plays magic the gathering. I play too but I’m into a game called shadow era which is a similar style but nowhere near the level of MTG. He says “buy cards let’s play”, I say, “I can’t play cards on the toilet bro”

Sent from my iPhone

But not on the toilet.

Seriously though, it’s a combination of connectivity, ultimate portability, and the delivery of the goods we want. My phone has all but replaced my computer. My computer is relegated to Netflix and the like. My consoles are dead. My phone is always on, and it’s always on me.

Um, thank you emailer. Everytime I see ‘sent from my iPhone’, I will suspect the emailer has taken off the pants and is feeding the toilet. This has made me wish to take showers everytime I view my emails.

When I am in the proximity of people, I talk. I can see playing with the smartphone when you are waiting somewhere or alone. I can’t imagine doing it in the presence of other people. Even in grocery store lines, I converse with other people (or wonder if the boobs on the cover of Cosmo can get any bigger).

The only time I get on the Internet is if I am not around other people. I find people interesting.

While I don’t have a smartphone, once I get one I doubt I will become a digital zombie. Do you know why? It is because I don’t like being connected. I seriously don’t.

Back in the day, the people who were always connected were people like doctors who had pagers. When it went off, they had to go to work. I didn’t want to live like that. I don’t want to be ‘connected’ where work or idiots can get in contact with me. I’ve even disconnected my home phone so people cannot call me. I hate phone calls. Every time the phone rings, there is someone on the other side who wants to talk to me. I hate it.