New content, not new gameplay, is what keeps the Mario brand fresh

Take a look at this story from Shack News: Nintendo defends rapid release of Mario games.

“Has Nintendo diluted the brand?”

What is the brand of Mario? Seriously, guys, what is the brand? Is it the gameplay? We see Mario in Mario Kart, 3d Mario, 2d Mario, and in other games which has different gameplay. So gameplay is not the Mario brand.

“It is the Mario character.”

And what is the Mario character? The Mario character isn’t just Mario but also the mushrooms, the Toads, the Koopas, and the entire Mushroom Kingdom. In other words, the Mario brand is the Mushroom Kingdom.

What is the Mushroom Kingdom? It is a tapestry. It is a fictional world. It is video game’s version of Alice in Wonderland.

“We think we’re putting out the right number of Mario games based on what fans are asking for, based on what our own developers’ creative visions are,” Nintendo of America senior director of corporate communications Charlie Scibetta said.

Are the fans asking for 3d World? From what I’m reading, everyone seems upset. 3d Mario fans don’t want NSMB aesthetics. They thought 3d Land was bad enough in that regard.

And you know the common complaint about the 2d Mario fans? They HATE the NSMB aesthetics (especially with the ‘wah’ ‘wah’ soundtrack). 2d Mario fans are not happy with NSMB U.

Fans asking for it? No. At least, not in how it is being executed. And you know Zelda fans don’t want MORE FUCKING WINDWAKER. Just like Zelda fans did not want trains or touch screen only in the DS Zelda games.

Did Metroid fans want Metroid: Other M?

There is absolutely no fan service going on here.

As for creative visions from the developers, that is code for ‘developers doing whatever the fuck they want’. Nintendo games were so much better when developers didn’t have creative visions. Metroid was so much better without the Sakamoto visions. Zelda was so much better without the Aonuma visions. Miyamoto didn’t want to make Super Mario World or Super Mario Brothers 3. But Yamauchi made him do it. Gaming is better because Miyamoto did what he didn’t want to do.

“The key to that is as long as there’s innovation is occurring within the gameplay, as long as there’s new features, then marrying the characters and the IPs that people love is the right call from our standpoint.”

Are the abysmal sales the right call in that standpoint? When has any Nintendo game sales increase occurred due to new features or gameplay features? Every single one has been due to a content increase. Content, meaning, is fictional tapestry that sparkles the gamers’ imagination. NSMB and the 3d Marios are completely forgettable. Even the Galaxies were like the Mushroom Kingdom in a blender.

Nintendo is following a dogmatic ideology like an automaton. There is no critical thinking that just tossing in some new ‘gameplay elements’ may not be enough. Any and all criticism of Nintendo’s direction has been dismissed. Any and all criticism based on Nintendo’s terrible sales has also been dismissed. People wonder if Iwata wants to be an anti-CEO as Nintendo’s behavior is acting like it.

So, what is the so-called innovation of Mario 3D World, I quizzed.

“If you look at something like Super Mario 3D World, the gameplay on that one that I find really cool is those transparent warp points.

Folks. This is not a parody. This was THE ACTUAL RESPONSE to the question. I am not making this up. Dead God, how I wish I could make up material like this.

Nintendo’s current business practices make it impossible for me to write parodies. Nintendo is a walking parody.

“Why do you want to buy that new Mario game?” “For the transparent warp pipes!” Absurdity on stilts.

Usually you used to go into one and pop out the other, and that was the end of the gameplay experience. Now, there’s a whole dynamic there where you can navigate in there, try to avoid enemies, try to get a better advantage. You could theoretically make a whole new game with those kind of gameplay dynamics,” Scibetta argued.

This game was already made. It is called Pac-Man.

Pictured Above: Gameplay using transparent pipes and warp pipes while avoiding enemies.

Instead of making so many Mario games, wouldn’t Nintendo be better served coming up with new IP? “If we didn’t put Mario on it, then it would just seem like a new IP,”

Transparent warp pipe gameplay would be a new IP without Mario? You heard it here first, folks.

Don’t ask me to explain, Nintendo. I don’t think they have any business strategy at all. What they are operating off of is poorly conceived platitudes such as…

‘Integrated Hardware and Software’
‘New Gameplay elements with Established IP’
‘Developers Must Be Allowed to Have Creative Visions’

Transparent warp pipes my ass. The only thing transparent is how much of a joke Nintendo has become. I know people don’t want to read people like myself saying it, but when you look at this interview, what else can you think?