Posted by: seanmalstrom | March 2, 2014

Email: Women want to get thin rather than get healthy

So I was reading your blog about the importance of working out and taking care of your body and I figured as a girl, I can speak from experience around other women their perspective on losing weight. Mostly it’s that women, though not all want to “be thin.” Rather than be healthy. If being thin equaled good health than super models would be the picture of health. All through school and my adult life, it seems like a woman’s motivation to lose weight is “OMG it’s bathing suit season. I need to lose this weight fast.” That’s why they just do cardio and no weights or do a lot of crash diets. They don’t want to get healthy, they just want to be skinny. This is why a lot of women smoke even though they know that’s bad for them. Seriously then number of women I talk to who smoke say “well I’d quit but then I’ll get fat.” You probably heard the joke that supermodels live on Diet Coke and cigarettes.

The other thing that gets on my nerves these days is the whole “fat acceptance” movement. Basically this whole movement started by some overweight folks who didn’t want to make the effort to lose weight are crusading against “fat discrimination” namely at the workplace or whatever. This irks me to no end. Being fat is not like being black. You’re not born fat. But back to the whole “fat acceptance” thing. See much like the “self esteem” boosting stuff we tried to do with our kids that backfired and made them entitled brats, you have now a subset of overweight folks saying the world should accept them for their lifestyle choices. In fairness the whole “body acceptance” thing had good intentions. You had young girls starving themselves or puking endlessly to get thin and that’s just as unhealthy as being fat. But this has backfired. You get fat slobs like Honey Boo Boo and her mother saying their “fat” makes them “sassy.” Or Melissa McCarthy, who heavy chicks rally around saying “yeah Hollywood has a fat lady star now” which apparently being fat also means being as loud and obnoxious as possible.

But what I notice the most, is friends of mine who are married and are stay a home moms who are overweight. Their excuse is usually their tired or too busy or don’t want to take time from their kids. The working moms, I can get to a degree, but the ones who stay at home and have kids in school. The kids are gone for 6 hours and they can’t get some sort of exercise in? Considering how much time they spend on Facebook. Though it’s common for men and women to gain weight after marriage namely I think it’s the mindset that now they have someone, they don’t have to try to look good to find a mate. The other day I was watching some old home movies my aunt had transferred to DVD and my grandmother who was a stay at home mother (like a lot of women in the late 50s, early 60s) was shown always wearing a nice dress and pearls even when cleaning the house. She didn’t live in yoga pants or make excuses, so it’s really just our society now. Pretty much from the late 60s on, people stopped caring about their appearance. I really hate seeing fat girls walking around Walmart in pajama bottoms and flip flops.

Companies are known to turn away overweight people mainly because they know that they’ll be more likely to miss work due to health problems as well as drive up insurance costs. Which is something that also gets me. People constantly complain about rising health insurance costs. You’d think THAT would be motivation to take better care of yourself. Then again my husband pointed out that car insurance and repairs are expensive, but people still drive recklessly.

What makes people ugly is their lack of self-sacrifice. A fit body when you are young doesn’t really require much work. As we age, a fit body requires sacrifice. You sacrifice elements in your diet and go to the gym. In the same way, dressing nice and constantly improving yourself also requires sacrifice. Beauty is not ‘being thin’ but actually sacrificing. When women see an ‘amazing man’, they don’t think of a guy being selfish and playing video games all day. They think of a guy supporting his family and making people laugh and have fun. To every woman I’ve talked to, they all behave and say they think the fireman who risks his life and saves other people is more ‘beautiful’ than your super-cool male model.

The housewife who gets fat, dresses poorly, and is ugly became that way because she thought she wasn’t supposed to sacrifice. Selfish attitudes create ugly people.

People say that it is unfair for ‘beautiful people’ to get advantages in society. But in many cases, these ‘beautiful people’ are extremely self-sacrificing. Why shouldn’t someone who goes to so much trouble to dress nice and look nice receive social advantages? It’d be immoral to treat the slob and the nice looking person the same.

I think both men and women get caught up on certain ‘externals’. For women, it may be ‘thin’. For men, it may be ‘big paycheck’ or ‘muscles’. What men really look for in the women, and women in the men, is that self-sacrificing drive beneath the surface.

In the art of business, sacrifice is a huge part of the game. The reason why you go into business is not to ‘get rich’ but to help people. When I mean people, I mean your customers. You make something that improves people’s lives. They reward you with money. The purpose isn’t the money but improving people’s lives.

I find it curious that men and women on their various ‘guide’ sites will issue all sorts of tactics and advice but never, ever suggest self-sacrifice. This doesn’t mean ‘act like a doormat’ because all women sense the Nice Guys are actually Selfish Guys. Making life fun for the other person will have rewards that will boomerang back into you.



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