The issue of love is a very difficult one for men. Men believe they should fall in love. When it happens, these men find themselves without money, doing things they never thought they’d be doing, and even having the woman send them to divorce hell.
Nearly the biggest destroyer of a man’s life is his failed relationship with women. A single divorce can ruin a man’s life. “Don’t get married,” isn’t a solution; it is a dodge. You don’t want to go through your life without any interactions with women. That’d be a crappy life.
What is interesting is how men and women fall in love. Two movies, released a year apart, focus entirely on love. The first is Titanic which highlighted an old woman thinking back at her time of love which was not her husband but her lover lost at sea. Women LOVED this movie. They could not stop buying tickets and watching it over and over again. The other movie was Saving Private Ryan. At the end of that movie, an old man thinks back of his life and trembles at the tombstones of his comrades. Surrounded by his family, he pleads to his wife to tell him that he was a good man, that he lived a worthy life. Men LOVED this movie. Both Titanic and Saving Private Ryan are love stories, but they appeal differently to men and women. This shouldn’t be any surprise. Since men and women are different, it makes sense that they process love differently.
Falling in love is losing control of one’s emotions. If both the male and female do it, what eventually happens is that one ends up snapping out of it sooner than the other. That other person will be left high and dry. The relationship rapidly deteriorates and possibly terminates.
If the man falls in love and the woman doesn’t, what is the result? It is a man who acts insane, being a pest, throwing money around, and becoming a huge annoyance and possibly even a threat. Seeing a man lose control of his emotions is not attractive to women. Also, women don’t like a man they can easily control.
What is more interesting is when the woman falls in love and the man doesn’t. The man stays in control while the woman allows her emotions to run wild. What occurs is the woman having the time of her life. When looking back at her life, the old woman will be looking at these unforgettable moments that you made possible. There’s a reason why women tend to like romance comedies and romance novels while men don’t. Women live for moments to find a guy where they can lose control of their emotions and ‘fall in love’. They want a man to make that possible. For men, when we look back at times when we ‘fell in love’ (i.e. lost control of our emotions), we look back at those times with shame and disgust.
So my Old Man advice is for younger men to always be in control of their emotions and give women the gift of allowing them to fall in love. Some on the outside may say the man is a manipulator. However, this is exactly what she wants. She wants to FEEL. She will LOVE YOU for allowing her to FEEL that way.
Some will say, “Well, Malstrom. I want to fall in love too. I want to lose control of my emotions.” This will likely cause her to snap out of being in love. As men, there are many things we look forward in life doing. For women, falling in love is one of the biggest things if not the biggest thing. Give them that much.