Posted by: seanmalstrom | June 19, 2014

Hate Mail: Your sheople

Rather than attack you for once, I’m gonna attack the people emailing you for being even more ignorant and retarded.

Skyward Sword graphics again? Jesus Christ! Yoshi Wooly World? Kirby? Star Fox? I’m trapped in the GameCube era! Somebody save me, seriously. And Nintendo showing someone playing with figurine is just… ugh… it’s so childish and pathetic. Way to alienate the mass market and pander to basement-dwelling “hardcore” nerds.

This is the GameCube on crack. But oh boy, Miyamoto sure showed us the WONDERS of the GamePad with those robot games! It just reminds me of Custom Robo or whatever on the GameCube. Not interested.
This is a nightmare. I don’t want all this childish GameCube crap. I want my Wii/NES back.

Go to hell Nintendo.

Nonono, YOU got to hell and burn in the layer with the pit of sweltering hot human feces because that’s what you are: Full of shit.

1. There is nothing wrong with Zelda being cel-shaded. I hate hate HATE this fucking industry where everything has to be super realistic, push the uncanny valley and look like shit! That’s what turned me off of HD graphics last gen and time has not sweetened that. I want something that looks appealing, not something that reminds me of the real world. Video games are made to ESCAPE that. 2. Yoshi’s games always have adopted a different artstyle for each individual title, why should this be different? 3. Didn’t you people WANT a new Star Fox? Now they’re giving it to you, you change your mind? This is the real reason why the WiiU isn’t selling: because Nintendo’s install base of full of hypocritical, whiny

You don’t get the use the “basement-dwelling nerds” insult when you’re acting ten times of a manchild yourself with this tripe. You are not a gamer, you’re a parasite. Next.

Do I see cell shading a la Wind Waker? Do I see Skyward Sword like art?

Because two wrongs a right don’t make…

Except they aren’t two wrongs. First of all, there was nothing wrong with any of the graphics in those games and second, as I just said, we have enough super realistic crap now and they don’t even look aesthetically like games anymore because of it. If the mass market really is into realistic, boring visuals like those in CoD then the mass market is full of inbred hillbillies who’ve never touched a controller in the 80s and 90s and it scares me to think these are the people that will shape the industry’s future. We didn’t have realism back in my day and we liked it that way.

Also, I’m happy to hear that they’re open to continuing both 2D Metroid and the Prime games.  I love both styles.  Prime could be a lot of fun with some online multiplayer especially, like Prime Hunters did.  And a proper 2D Metroid – without the Fusion garbage – could be a lot of fun.”

Fusion is not garbage. Other M is garbage, (which is one of the few things I will agree w/ Malstrom on) Prime Hunters is garbage, Fusion is closer to a traditional Metroid than you people give it credit for.

I don’t get why Link looks like a girl either, but then again I think this is an anime thing. You have said it before how in Japan Anime is like Hollywood, and Aonuma has been trying very hard to turn Zelda into an Anime with his crappy art styles. Skyward Sword could have passed for a bad anime, and now the graphics to this new game look very much like a crappy anime.
But for my opinion, I don’t think they turned Link into a girl, they just made him look more like one by going the Anime route. This is a problem with the Fire Emblem games. There are many male characters in those games that look like girls. This is such a problem that in the last game, they made a female girl named after Marth who looked very much like the character himself. Most fans often confuse many of the characters as girls cause it’s so hard to tell.
The return of cell shaped Wind Waker graphics is enough to make the fan boys go nuts. No one has ever accepted the Wind Waker style graphics, I don’t care what journalist claims it and the stupid hardcore that claim to love that stuff. I can recall when it first came out, and no one liked it back then. Giving us more of it, is not going to make us all of a sudden accept it out of nowhere.

You know, the remake of Ocarina of Time had brilliant graphics. Personally, I think those were the best graphics I have ever seen on a Zelda game. 

This one made me want to kill something. OoT had good artstyle, not graphics. It’s graphics back then were terrible. Link’s face had a huge spike in the middle that was supposed to be his nose. And don’t pin it on the fact that that’s what N64 graphics were capable of at the time. Banjo-Kazooie was an N64 game that came out that same year and it had better graphics. I hate to talk smack about OoT but sadly, it’s true. I don’t know who these shallow retards who keep hating on the Wind Waker style graphics are but this is not 2001 anymore. Everyone I know stopped talking smack about WW’s graphics around the time of E32002. I think you need to watch Yahtzee’s ZP on WWHD you shallow piece of shit.

I cannot stand people at all who hate on a game for looking like an anime despite the fact that its gameplay may be amazing. WW’s level of sailing the high seas was awesome, but people won’t admit to that because “it looks like a kiddie anime” meanwhile they’ll play realistic looking games with terrible artstyle that cloak themselves in drab dark colors and digital mud. Grow up and find a real reason to hate on a game because you’re not gamers if you think this. You shallow, soulless, pretentious auteur snobs that I would gladly shoot dead if that’s what it takes for gaming to get better again.

Y’know Malstrom, here’s some advice for you: Stop writing your articles as if they were fact. Just say “this is my opinion” “this is what I personally think” and I’d likely be easier on you if not stop emailing you altogether. Because the way you keep writing your articles nowadays, your not expressing criticism, you’re feeding propaganda to the public and it’s going to spawn more of these pretentious drooling simps that won’t give ANY company credit where it’s due.


I love this guy. He thinks I set up shop here and due to Special Malstrom Powers that I altered people’s minds. What actually happened is that many people read this site since it shares many of their opinions already. People read because mostly because it is different than what you read anywhere else.

Many people don’t like it when you’re assertive. If I said ‘in my opinion’ before everything that is said, what would be the point? Does Michael Pachter do that? No. Do hardcore gamers on the gaming message forums do that? No. Does Aonuma and Miyamoto do that? No. But apparently, I must do that on my very own personal blog. Why? No answer. The emailer wants there to be rules on Malstrom that no one else follows.



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