Posted by: seanmalstrom | June 15, 2015

Nintendo World Championship 2015

What did you guys think?

I did watch the event. Since I do not own a Wii U or 3DS, the games there weren’t as interesting to me. Splatoon was OK as a non-player to watch. The Indigo ball game was dull for me to watch. The problem with putting new games up is that everyone is bad at them which makes it no fun to watch. New games for these events only work if the mechanics are known hence can have fun and interesting games. Watching noobs is no fun. I was happy when the Indigo game was over. Mario Kart 8 was… ugh. With the random power-ups, it is why I stopped playing Mario Kart. You just master cornering and then you are at the mercy of the items. Yawn.

What I enjoyed were the Underground games. Can you imagine how Malstrom was during these events?

*They play Legend of Zelda*

*Malstrom is yelling at the TV. “WHY AREN’T  YOU GUYS PLAYING AONUMA ZELDA? I thought Zelda was about STORY and PUZZLES. Where are all the puzzles? Where is the story? And look, their gameplay revolves around the sword. I thought Aonuma did not like that? Where was Aonuma? Why aren’t they playing the Aonuma Zelda?”*

The question answers itself.

Then they switch games.

*They play Super Metroid*

Super Metroid’s ending really shows the weakness of the game. You just drop to low health and then get the ‘story sequence’ of the Baby Metroid. Then you are overpowered and kill Mother Brain. The escape out isn’t that hard. It’s just blah. I still can’t believe people died during it.

And yet, I was yelling at the TV…

“WHY AREN’T YOU PLAYING METROID OTHER M? WHERE IS SAKAMOTO? WHERE IS HE?”

Although, I think a play of Metroid Prime would be most fascinating. But why not play Other M? That is what Sakamoto called the ‘successor to Super Metroid’.

Again, the question answers itself.

The third underground game they played was Balloon Fight, a game that Bill Trinen thinks is *so awesome*. But Balloon Fight was never awesome and is just a big Joust Rip-Off. However, since it is an 80s game on the NES, it, by default, makes it awesome by using such gameplay of that time period.

And I couldn’t believe how terrible the players were. Really? Balloon Fight is not that hard. I remember five year olds mastering it back in the day.

Aside from the Tree House constantly having orgasms over Balloon Fight, I found it much more interesting to watch than the other games.

Smash 4 was boring to watch. I’m not a huge Smash player. I own a couple of Smash games. But… ugh.

I did really enjoy seeing Reggie get his ass kicked and name taken. Of course, Reggie plays as the newest DLC character to further ‘market that’. I do remember Reggie making those comments a year ago. But even I could play better than how Reggie did. I think it was all because our President of Nintendo was too busy playing the ‘new character’. Reggie didn’t lose because Reggie’s game is marketing. He was marketing the new character so it is ‘win/win’ for him.

Aside from the Underground games, which told me how terrible today’s gamers are (I blame public schools for their lack of cohesive gameplay skills) and that they were playing these games on the Virtual Console (why not on the original hardware? Oh yeah, marketing. Got to sell those VC versions. I loved how they kept getting stuck in the Wii U menu), I was ready to call this Championship thing a dud. I mean… who cares? So what?

But then they did Mario Maker.

And that hit my heart.

It marketed Mario Maker very well, but it also reminded me how much FUN it was to WATCH other people play 2d Mario. I thoroughly enjoyed Mario Makers sessions a great deal, more so than I can think of watching any other game. I was confused on the first stage until Numbers jumped from platform to platform opening it all up. “Wow!” I said.

The idea of having new Super Mario Brothers 1, 3, and World levels is very much a delicious thought.

The NSMB segment looked witty too, however it revealed how dumb the wall jumping is that the other player couldn’t even get past the very first part. Wall jumping was dumb in Super Metroid. It’s dumb in NSMB. It’s just not that fun.

The Mario Maker levels were a ton of fun to watch. I would love to watch more. It also makes me want to buy a Wii U for it (but alas, my funds are needed elseware). I’ll definitely be tuning in to Youtube or Twitch to see what people do.

I thought the event was meh but Mario Maker was an absolute blast and made me enjoy the entire event. Mario Maker made it satisfying. The end screen being Super Mario World’s pic and theme was also satisfying. It was a good spectacle.

I just wish all the events were on a disc so we could get another Golden World Championship Cartridge or ‘game’ that can be eBayed for tens of thousands of dollars. It’s like Nintendo did no actual game work for the event aside from Mario Maker. Next time…. do some actual game work. I don’t want to hear about ‘wizards in the back’ to tell us the numbers. You are game makers. Make a display that actually shows us the winner when it is done. A customized game should be made to crunch the numbers automatically. It shouldn’t be that hard. Then, after the even, the customized game can be given to the contestants and they can sell it off as a huge collector’s item. Without that collector’s item ‘event game’, there is nothing tangible to keep this event alive in memories.

Above: Reggie, you’re doing it wrong. Where is the Golden cartridge/disc/game???????


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