Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 14, 2016

Nintendo re-releases the NES!!!

First, Zelda Wii U/NX ‘BoW’ “WOW!”

Second, Pokemon Go (been making a post on this one, an interesting story behind it)

And now we have a third masterstroke decision by Nintendo:

They are re-releasing the motherfucking NES.

For now on, when Nintendo pulls off a genius move, I will play the ‘kick ass Nintendo revolution theme’. You will recognize it when you hear it. It is Welcome to the Jungle (Runway) by Williams made famous by that Nintendo ON hoax video (that came out right before Generation 7).

CI_NintendoClassicMiniNES_PS_Announcement_MS7.jpg

 

The readers go into complete orgasm.

Contain yourselves, gentlemen! Here is the list of the included 30 titles (new NES controller is $10!):

Balloon Fight™
BUBBLE BOBBLE
Castlevania™
Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest™
Donkey Kong™
Donkey Kong Jr. ™
DOUBLE DRAGON II: THE REVENGE
Dr. Mario™
Excitebike™
FINAL FANTASY®
Galaga™
GHOSTS’N GOBLINS®
GRADIUS™
Ice Climber™
Kid Icarus™
Kirby’s Adventure™
Mario Bros. ™
MEGA MAN® 2
Metroid™
NINJA GAIDEN
PAC-MAN™
Punch-Out!! ™ Featuring Mr. Dream
StarTropics™
SUPER C™
Super Mario Bros.™
Super Mario Bros. ™ 2
Super Mario Bros. ™ 3
TECMO BOWL
The Legend of Zelda™
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link™

This is a very, very solid list and all of this would be the definitive NES experience. In fact, I can say that even though I am not a collector, this is what my game library looks like. These are all the definitive NES games with some exceptions.

Castlevania II I would exchange for Life Force or another Konami game. Star Tropics I would exchange for another game too.

So why is Nintendo doing this? I know why.

The NES kids are having children of their own and they are paying THROUGH THE NOSE AND THE MOUTH to get authentic NES systems and these games. Do you know how much those games cost for the NES? They cost… at least… $20 each. No joke! Assuming this NES Version 3 plays like a genuine NES, this is, at least, a $600 value because that is how much it would cost to get all these games.

In 2004, at the beginning of GENERATION SEVEN, Iwata began the Classic Series line for Gameboy Advance which were NES games re-released for the GBA. This was so successful that it had Nintendo create the Virtual Console.

This NES V3 will sell like hotcakes. I plan to buy at least three of them. The value is off the charts with it.

The hardcore gamer is SO STUPID that they do not understand the value. Let us explain it to him, dear reader.

Final Fantasy 1

This game can be bloody difficult but endlessly replayable due to the different party choices at the start of the game. “But I can get a re-release!” No, you can’t. The original Final Fantasy has been nerfed on re-releases except on the Virtual Console. It easily is worth the $60 price tag. I still play it today, and I would be playing it right now except the battery in my cartridge died.

Super Mario Brothers 3

Best game ever made? Probably.

Then there is SMB 1 and 2 as well which are god-like and endlessly replayable.

Zelda 1 and 2

Zelda 1 has two quests so it is like two games. How long does it take to beat it? Ten hours for each one? Zelda 2, the same. Easily 30 hours of awesomeness that never gets old.

Pac-man and Galaga

Two great classics that never get old.

Multiplayer games

Here is where it gets interesting. What are the simultaneous multiplayer games on this list? Here they are:

Balloon Fight™
BUBBLE BOBBLE
DOUBLE DRAGON II: THE REVENGE
Dr. Mario™
Ice Climber™
Mario Bros. ™
SUPER C™
TECMO BOWL

Super Mario Brothers 3 doesn’t really count as it is Mario Brothers battlemode in it. Those games are some of the best multiplayer games I can think of.

Add in Kirby, Ninja Gaiden, Gradius, Castlevania…. oh man. The value of it is absurd. However, the value will only work if the games play authentically and without lag.

Who will buy this product?

NES fans who are in their 30s now. They will buy it for themselves and their kids.

Collectors are going to buy these in bulk. I am not joking! I expect this product to be on Ebay for over a hundred dollars at Christmas.

This sign also shows that Nintendo has not forgotten its roots… or… rather… it does not see its past as some embarrassment. “Oh, that Legend of Zelda game? We are embarrassed by it. Allow us to never remember its gameplay. And Metroid too. Metroid is about Samus Aran’s feelings. And that Zelda 2 game? Yeah. Those Mario games are 2d which means no one wants to play them.”

Fuck, they have Donkey Kong and Jr on that too. The value is absurd. I haven’t seen such a value rich offering from Nintendo in a long, long time.

I hope this opens up Nintendo to be making retro hardware because the third party quality sucks. I would not be unhappy if all VC games went on these type of devices which allowed the new Nintendo stuff to do whatever they wanted.

The classic cartridges and NES consoles are becoming rarer each day with growing demand and finite supply.

Good job, Nintendo. I am impressed by this move.

Dos Equis Gifs to the World okay ok yes clapping


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