Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 25, 2016

Why is Metroid Federation Force even being made?

Any close observer of Nintendo will quickly notice how much the company blatantly lies. The question has always been ‘why the lies’? Malstrom’s interpretation: arrogance and ego. In fact, I place the enormity of the blame of the 3DS and Wii U disaster of arrogance and ego. It is the arrogance of Nintendo developers to think they could make ‘3d’ to work when they never have been able to do so. Wii U is nothing more than a HD Gamecube + Connectivity with some 2d platformers and the Wii branding. Gamers can smell the arrogance.

The above video is an attempt to ‘perfume’. Seriously, nothing in the above video is impressive. The shooter looks average at best. Why Next Level Games was told to make this shit, no one knows.

The big, big lie is Tanabe saying Nintendo wanted to attempt to make a first person shooter on a handheld. WTF was Metroid Prime Hunters? It was even included as a demo with launch DS systems. Metroid Prime Hunters NAILED the Metroid aesthetic and delivered crisp, excellent Quake 3 type gameplay. Hunters has remained popular in legacy as it tends to disappear fast in used stores. My problem with Hunters is hand cramps… the same problem I have with most DS games.

Above: This is ten years old and still is more Metroid than anything Sakamoto or Nintendo has put out. Damn impressive especially concerning the DS hardware.

Hunters at least came up with additional characters. Nintendo lacks that creativity today.

Listening to Tanabe say that the art style was chosen due to technical issues and that they wanted to try to make a handheld shooter is so insulting. Metroid Prime Hunters was the handheld shooter. It faced much more difficult technical issues than the 3DS hardware has. No. I do not believe this bullshit. There is another reason.

I don’t think Nintendo liked Hunters. Hunters was too ‘hardcore’ (oh, that word), it was too masculine, too much testosterone. Federation Force is so effeminate that multiplayer is nothing more than shooting a giant ball. Whose balls are they shooting? Metroid’s balls.

One question I always had is why is Nintendo OBSESSED with making a handheld shooter? Why not be obsessed with making a HOME CONSOLE shooter first? A home console shooter would certainly help Nintendo out, as Goldeneye proved. So why does Nintendo take the action it does? The only conclusion I can take form it is arrogance and cultural bias.

I’m hoping Federation Force is a leftover from Generation 8 Nintendo just as that Gamecube pinball game or Chibi-robo was for the Gamecube in the latter stages of Generation 6. What a piece of shit Federation Force is. And fuck you Nintendo for fucking over Metroid.

Fuck you, Tanabe.

Fuck you, Sakamoto.


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