Posted by: seanmalstrom | September 5, 2016

Nintendo’s tone deafness is a bad sign

Above: The reason why I don’t do Youtube videos is because I would act and sound just like Hitler in the above video.

One of the big problems I see with Generation 9 ever being a ‘Revolution’ type success is how defiant and tone deaf Nintendo has recently been. Before Generation 7 began, Nintendo was quite contrite. The DS was Nintendo’s panic about a Sony domination of the handheld market. With the lack of 2d Mario for decades, I kept wondering how we could let Nintendo know that it is what we wanted. But this was never the issue. It was what the developers wanted, not what the fans or market wanted. There is a reason why every 2d Mario has been half assed.

“Does Nintendo know what Metroid is?” They do. They just don’t like it. There can be no other explanation.

We could blame Other M on crazy Sakamoto. But Federation Force shows that the Metroid problem is beyond the individual developer personality. There is something very wrong inside Nintendo, on the Board of Directors, that is allowing such garbage to get through.

You and I know what Metroid is. Metroid is about going into a very hostile and mysterious alien world, upgrading yourself, finding cool shit, and killing scary monsters. Metroid has a very rich atmosphere. There is nothing cutesy or cartoonish about Metroid which might explain why Nintendo hates it.

Above: Ahh, Metroid.

It is hard to see the future of a generation. But I see Generation 9 being very mixed and riddled with problems. Nintendo’s problems come about from declaring ‘truths’ to themselves at the Nintendo Board of Directors. It goes something like this:

Generation 8 Board of Directors-

“How are you, gentlemen! Now is the time for 3d!”

*Board of Directors stands, applauds, and repeats verbatim*

“Now. Is. The. Time. For. 3d.”

Then we got the 3DS which had a tepid market reaction.

“Hey, let us make a Gamecube HD with connectivity controller, graft on Wii branding, and sell it.”

“Sounds like an amazing idea. Let’s do it!”

“Yeah!”

And then we get the disaster of the Wii U.

Do you know what they are saying right now in the Board of Director meetings, reader? I am not present, but I can already tell.

“IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP!”

Like a little chihuahua.

“IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! ”

Where I am going with this is that IP is Nintendo’s religion for this generation. Nintendo no longer seems interested in real business plans. Nintendo seems operating underneath a fantastical ideology that is more likened as a religion. In this case, the Gospel is “IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! IP! ”

Nintendo will be in denial about Federation Force because the failure of Federation Force shows that the IP god is a false god. Under Nintendo’s IP religion, Nintendo believes it can separate the IP from the game, build a new game around that IP, and then sell the game just fine. It is a type of IP ‘seeding’. But it is not working with Federation Force.

It is because Metroid is not Samus Aran and not Metroids. Metroid is the game. You remove Metroid gameplay, you no longer have a Metroid game.

Look at 2d Pikmin side scroller. Who asked for this? This is another example of Nintendo’s IP religion in action. Nintendo separated the IP from Pikmin from its gameplay, and then placed it onto another genre altogether. Will it work? No. It will not work.

“But they took Mario and put him in go carts and sports!”

It is not Mario that we like but Mushroom Land itself. Whether we are playing sports, driving go carts, or platformering in Mushroom Land, it is all similar.

If I’m right about this, we are going to see many Nintendo IPs removed from their games and placed on top of very different games. Nintendo is going to behead their franchises and place their heads on different bodies.

“Innovation!”

And these entertainers think they are geniuses!


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