Posted by: seanmalstrom | December 4, 2016

Email: The Zelda Universe has become crap

Zelda is crap because its world is crap. The games have broken continuity. Simply making it “open-world” isn’t going to fix that the world itself sucks.

The universe of Zelda has gotten lamer and lamer for the most part over the various installments. I loved OoT but then Majora’s Mask comes out and for some reason I never found the interest to even try it out. And that was the first game Aonuma was put in charge of. Then Wind Waker gets made, and once again I have zero interest. Later I give the game a chance only to give up on it when I realize that PLAYING the game is duller than watching paint dry. Twilight Princess comes out and I give up very early on because of that awful beginning part of the game. Skyward Sword was a joke, and even stalwart Zelda fans hated it.

It’s fine if Breath of the Wild PLAYS well, but if the content sucks, then the WHY of the game is greatly hobbled. Do I care about saving Hyrule? The Hyrule of the older games, absolutely. The world of the newer ones, not so much, because I don’t care. I agree that accordion bird is lame. The various animal races are lame, but I think they are lame due to execution, not because that they are animals. There should be more humanoid races in Hyrule. Skyrim has a lizard race, cat race, three or four races of elves, and several races of humans.

I do agree with the games being made like anime. The thing is older anime didn’t used to be this weird back in the day (sometimes but not even to the degree that it is now). I remember you saying that the old developers came from real world experience, the new generations go straight from youth to making games and usually have nothing interesting to add as a result. This would probably by why we keep getting anime crap.

There was an old Playstation game called Vagrant Story made by old Squaresoft. The game had a very heavy Midieval influence. The developers went to France and studied the architecture of cathedrals and catacombs, wine, and a bunch of other stuff. The translation was interesting because the dialog was done in Shakespearean English. I would consider it an overlooked gem for the Playstation (but not easy to learn or play, it’s kind of like Dark Souls).

Are we getting people like that making Breath of the Wild? Even with the Monolith guys working on it, probably not. Xenosaga was pretty anime, and Xenoblade the same. People don’t want Zelda to be “dark” so much as they want it to stop being lame. A big problem is the bad guys in most of the games have sucked. Badly. In Skyrim, Alduin mocks you as you watch him resurrect a dragon. At the start of Dragon’s Dogma Gregori rips your heart out after he’s laid waste to your village. The enemies in both of those games, even the humdrum ones are scary and evil looking. In real life you wouldn’t wanna run into these things. If the accordion bird was real would your first instinct be “I am terrified of this.” or “Is there a sports team missing their mascot?”

We don’t know if it’ll be good or not, but we saw the direction that Other M was going with Fusion. Zelda needs people who like the old games running it, and people who understand fantasy helping them to craft the world. I have a feeling that people will play BoW enticed by the open world, only to lose interest when they realize that the world isn’t worth exploring.

BTW, you should totally play AM2R if you haven’t. If Nintendo had taken it as it was and put it on the eshop, I’d have paid money for it gladly. It’s very well-done, and it’s clear fans that understood what made Metroid, Metroid made it.

The hits to this page skyrocketed with my reactions to the Zelda trailer and gameplay videos. I am astonished at what people respond to. Much of it, I suspect, are shocked and outraged Zelda fans. An earlier email is a guy wondering how I can say such things. Where is this coming from? Your email is an illustration that there are many people out there that are of the same wavelength as mine. The major difference is that I am much more moderate. I complain about Zelda because I care about Zelda. The other people, the ones you do not hear from, are completely lost or near being lost. This emailer above says he didn’t even bother playing many of the recent Zelda games. I thought Twilight Princess was cool except for the beginning part (though even then I have to ignore the Aonuma-isms such as that stupid mailman).

Yes, the content is the issue. But how do we deal with it? Ridicule. I know of no other way.

I love the premise of Breath of the Wild of what they showed at E3. I love the future tech with those walker guys that shoot lasers. I love your little tablet. I like the towers. It’s cool.

What I DON’T like are the NPCs, the moblins, and the ‘personalities’ Nintendo chooses to infuse them with. They make me uncomfortable.

Why does anime make me feel so… odd? Take a look at this meme:

Shade, Dank Memes, and Never: Anime MARRY AND REPRODUCE NEVER Put on ur reality shades. ~Tittymcquire

Anime is extremely stigmatized in the West. If a young, hot woman finds out you like anime, she will likely run from you. It is that bad.

Japan is having a fertility crisis. Could there be a connection?

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