Posted by: seanmalstrom | February 14, 2017

S Minus 18 Days

Miyamoto has a wonderful interview in Time. Blue Ocean is even mentioned! Definite must read article.

I mentioned that Mr. Iwata, Mr. Takeda and myself provided feedback and made decisions, but ultimately Mr. Iwata was the head of development, so he put a lot of thought and time into Switch. I think that the idea of Nintendo Switch being a device you can take out and anywhere, and the idea of it being a system that really allows networking and communicating with people, I think that’s something Mr. Iwata put a lot of emphasis on.

Switch is Iwata’s baby!

Thank you, Iwata.

Satoru Iwata

“You’re welcome, Malstrom.”

*gasp* He speaks!

In terms of being together online in virtual reality, I think a lot of the problems have been solved or are starting to be solved. This is something that we’re looking into, too. But when I see people play virtual reality, it makes me worry, just as for example if a parent were to see their kid playing virtual reality, it would probably make them worry. Another issue and challenge that I think everybody faces is how to create an experience that’s both short enough while also fully fleshed out in virtual reality.

Don’t you see, beautiful reader? Nintendo is STILL pursuing Virtual Reality. If the Switch does well, Nintendo will go, “NOW is the TIME for VIRTUAL REALITY!” and Switch’s successor will not be Super Switch or Switch-Cube (lol), it will be VR Switch which no one ever asked for or ever wanted. They will even re-use Switch branding in order to push Virtual Reality like they did with Wii U and 3DS. I know this because I know Nintendo. They are chomping on the bit. Miyamoto wants to do it because he is old and Gen 10 will be his last chance. Such a console would destroy the company. But who cares? ALL HAIL THE VIRTUAL BOY! “It failed because of marketing,” -Miyamoto

And because we’re not tough, we can’t fight with other people. [Miyamoto holds up his fists and laughs.] I think this really coincides and equates to what the entertainment industry is like, anything with the creative industry, and it links to terms like blue ocean or red ocean. This is something that Mr. Iwata did, to really link the philosophy of Nintendo to some of the business and corporate jargon, while also being able to convey that to all of the employees at Nintendo.

Blue Ocean!

Oh, how I love it, reader! I just can’t get enough of it!


Email: Why did you change your mind on Breath of the Wild

Master Malstrom,

Just a month ago, you were calling Breath of the Wild “the most 3d, most interesting Zelda ever made. (source: You also said that we should give Aonuma a chance because he could change, and stuff like the following:

“Breath of the Wild is not for Ocarina of Time fans or Wind Waker fans. Breath of the Wild is for the original NES fans with its ‘open world’ and all. Don’t you see? This is the first Zelda made with ME in mind.” (source:

Now however, I see you’ve turned against the game and seem to think it’s not going to be great. My question is, what made you change your mind exactly? I know you don’t like all the hype around it right now (and it is a bit much), but was there anything else that put you off? Did you just re-think things one day and come to the conclusion that Aonuma would ruin this game like the others? Did you not like something in the previews? Are you just trying to de-hype yourself in case the game turns out to be a disappointment? Or was it something else? I find it interesting that you were (cautiously) bullish on the game just a month ago, and now you’re full on bearish on the game’s sales chances.

I won’t disagree about Minecraft becoming less interesting once you know the systems, but the same can be said with Skyrim and other open world games. I doubt Nintendo would be upset if Breath of the Wild ends up being as successful as Minecraft or Skyrim.

Anyway, the nature of controlling 3D open world games like Breath of the Wild or GTA means they will never be able to have the same intensity as was in the original or Zelda 2. It’s just impossible to replicate that intensity without the tightness of controls that a 2D environment(whether top down or side scrolling) provides. Open world games give up refinement in exchange for more content, and I don’t think Breath of the Wild will be any different in that regard.

The only way we’ll get a Zelda game with the same intensity as the original or Zelda 2 is if it’s a 2D top-down game or another side scroller.

-A Reader

Dear Reader,

Breath of the Wild will be here within days. Do you want to go into the game with hype or without hype? I’d rather go into a game with anti-hype. The game will either be good or bad, but I am not going to make-believe the game was ‘fun’ or great a week or two upon release to salvage my hype ego.

This game is receiving too much hype. It needs some anti-hype to help counter balance it so everyone remains grounded.


Email: What happened to your optimism on Breath of the Wild?

Aonuma is what happened.

Image result for aonuma

Above: “Hi guys! You want another Zelda? This time, we are going back to the roots of what made Zelda fun! I say this every Zelda, and you idiots never remember me saying it! Ha ha ha! I am so funny! Let us all gather around and watch Tingle together!

He has a terrible track record. Every Zelda we are told ‘this time it is different! This time, Aonuma understands…’ and we get the same shit. NPCs and Puzzles. Games with no edge, no challenge that a quick glance at a walkthrough can’t solve.

But I should share the email. Here it is:

It’s as if your opinion of the game just soured overnight–but why? I haven’t seen you do this kind of a 180 regarding a game since Splatoon (you were nothing but praise for Nintendo doing something fresh and original, then suddenly you were predicting it would flop).

To put it to perspective, here’s what you said just a little over three weeks ago concerning BotW’s ‘impact’:

“I think it is a mistake to automatically assume Breath of the Wild to follow the impact of past Zeldas. What if Breath of the Wild is a breakout hit like, say, Ocarina of Time? What if BoW “Wow!” has an impact of, say, Grand Theft Auto 3? “Not probable.” Most certainly not probable. But it is not impossible. Even I knew Twilight Princess wouldn’t hit it that big. But BoW “Wow!” has a quality element that could catch big sales fire in the West as Skyrim, Witcher 3, and other such open world games have done. The fact that BoW “Wow!” is only being discussed in a closed ‘only Nintendo Zelda fans will buy it’ certainly isn’t being analytically honest.” (
Regarding Aonuma Zelda:

“Zelda BoW “Wow” is also ditching the puzzle solving for problem solving.


Could all those years of bashing ‘Aonuma Zelda’ have provided feedback to contribute to these changes? Whose to know. This looks like the most interest modern Zelda yet.” (
And most shocking of all, here are some totally unpessimistic comments you made one month ago with regard to the story trailer:

“Speaking of Zelda crying, Nintendo is incredibly doing tragedy. What is tragedy? I will explain it in such a way that your Literature Professor will love.

Imagine a girl with cute pig tails skipping across the road. Then, a nasty semi-truck comes hurtling down and runs over the girl. The mother holds the girl’s body in her arms and screams.

“A tragic thing occurred today,” the news will say. But this is wrong. This was not tragedy. It is bad. But that is not tragic.

Now let us say the same thing occurred. The mother holds the girl’s body and blames herself. “I should have been watching! It is all my fault!” NOW you have tragedy.

Most of the tragedy in video games come from the player. “Why did I not go through the short cut pipe instead of going the hard way and dying stupidly? Why!?” cries the player dying in Super Mario Brothers. There is much tragedy in Civilization. “Why did I build my city there? What was I thinking!?”

It is unusual that the game content to be tragic. Usually, the destroyed world is a setting. Characters are not fleshed out enough to truly be tragic. They are pieces of the setting. One of the reasons why I love the Ultima games, especially VII Part I and II, is that the many of the NPCs become tragic figures. In this way, they truly become 3d.

This Breath of the Wild’s Zelda is the most 3d, most interesting Zelda ever made.” (
Now your expectations are puzzles and anime BS? You actually think this WON’T be the biggest thing to happen to Zelda since Ocarina of Time?

I’m tired of the hype. I want to go anti-hype now. It be good for the reader too!

Also, it disarms the hardcore!

“This game sucks. You just wander around, and you can get to the final boss in ten to fifteen minutes. Nintendo doesn’t know how to design games. But do you know who does? Western AAA gaming. Oh yes. Western AAA gaming is the Gold Standard of ALL GAMING, both PRESENT and PAST. Does the Turbografx 16 have Western AAA gaming on it? No. therefore, IT SUX. What about the NES? Then IT SUX. Switch has no Western AAA gaming so IT SUX BIGTIME. But PS4 has Western AAA gaming, therefore, it ROCKS.”


Email: I want to thank you

For deflating my Zelda hype.

No joke, you did me a service! I really had been taken in by Nintendo’s marketing and I let my imagination run wild about what sort of game it would be. I think I went too far calling it a “potential classic” in my last email to you, considering I haven’t played the game yet. It might be, but that’s hard to say at the moment since we’ve seen so little of the game so far.

I still am generally optimistic about how BOTW looks however. Nintendo has shown quite a lot of gameplay, and I’ve yet to see anything I greatly dislike. It definitely looks more fun than Skyrim, which is a game I enjoyed. If the rest of the game’s areas are like the Great Plateau, just tougher, then I think it will at least be a solid game.

I think the reason I’m more optimistic about BOTW, despite the fact that Aonuma’s Zeldas tend to be terrible games (and I’ve played Phantom Hourglass, so believe me I know they’re terrible), is because I think BOTW is another case where the business guys at Nintendo had more say in the how the game would be than normal. We’ve seen this before when they pushed for 2D Mario. Skyward Sword came out in 2011, at the same time Skyrim did. Yet Skyrim sold gangbusters, and sells to this day, while Skyward Sword barely outsold Wind Waker (3.41 million vs. 3.07 million, according to Wikipedia). I imagine that the bean counters looked at Skyrim, looked at SS, and demanded an explanation from the Zelda devs. This time around, Nintendo couldn’t blame the ‘art style’ or the install base for Zelda’s tepid sales. I imagine that the business guys at Nintendo got a lot more leverage over how the next Zelda would look. Aonuma mentioned in GameInformer that he did play Skyrim to see how other devs have done open world. I wonder if he was forced to.

I think BotW will be a good game, but it will be despite Aonuma’s influence. The best parts of BotW are where the game tries to hearken back to Zelda 1, or where the game shows off its physics and combat. The worst parts are where Aonuma’s influence is still obviously present (like the contrived puzzles or the weirdo NPCs).

I think that if Nintendo isn’t willing to get rid of Aonuma, they should ‘promote’ him. Free him from the shackles of the Zelda IP, and allow him to work on the puzzle-adventure game of his dreams. Aonuma would likely be happier working on a game like Myst or Portal, gamers would be happier, and investors would be happier. It’s win-win-win. Shoot, I think a slow paced, relaxing, uncompromised puzzle game would be a lot more enjoyable than the Frankenstein monster that is Aonuma Zelda.

Zelda will be good or bad despite anything said here at this site. But everyone is going super hype, so I will go anti-hype.

I think what makes classic games classic is how replayable they are. He just desire to replay it for whatever reason. How many times have you replayed Link to the Past, for example? I think Zelda 2 is the most replayable Zelda of them all.

Why would we replay Breath of the Wild? “Because of multiple story paths, OMG.” That tells me there isn’t much of a reason in the gameplay. It’s not like the world is randomized or anything.

Link would be more interesting if he had to choose a class. You could go Sword Link or maybe Magic Link. Or even have Item Link to satisfy Aonuma’s cravings.

I don’t find Aonuma’s zelda games to be replayable at all, and that really bothers me.


Email: I agree on Zelda

While it’s unpopular to go against the hype train, truth is, after Skyward Sword, why would anyone trust Nintendo again in regards to their ability to make a quality Zelda game? That game was trash. Tadtones? Gimme a break.

I’d love to be pleasantly surprised but that was the breaking point for me. Much like other M. Fuck hype. I believe in post hype not pre hype. Wii sports had post hype. Just as one example. But I’m with you. I’m not buying switch at launch. And am not planning on buying one any time soon. That can change with the right software. But as of yet. Nothing really moves me. Wii U was complete garbage. I’ll wait to see how Nintendo responds after this turd.

Always a pleasure.

I have an interview to help build a spaceship. If that doesn’t pan out, I will play Switch and Zelda and tell you guys how it is.

I’m very uncomfortable with all the BOTW hype. No game can live up to this. Instead, let’s hype up 1, 2 Switch!

Above: Game of the Forever. PERFECT SCORE! WILL CHANGE THE INDUSTRY! Sony and Microsoft will go bankrupt! Did I leave anything out?


Email: Bomberman R lighting

“Super Bomberman R looks like a ton of fun. I think what is putting people off is the real time lighting, but I think it is there for the 3d terrain.”

What’s bothering me is that gyrating fucking camera.

It’s like some developers are guilty about the simplicity of their game and want to make it look more lively, but it bugs the shit out of me to have follow things needlessly drifting about the screen.

That is for single player. We’ll see how that goes.


Fantastic plot! Incredible lore! THIS IS BOMBERMAN!

I love how they all have different personalities. This game is severely under-hyped which is a good thing. It means it can blow people away! Unlike Zelda which, even if it is the best video game ever made, will at most can meet expectations but never surpass them. You cannot surpass the perfection in your mind.


Quick Review: Shantae: Cursue of the Pirate Thing

I did buy and play Shantae Pirate edition from GOG. Does Shantae meet all the hype out there?

Shantae is an incredible AAA 2d Metroidvania with terrible, terrible editing. The ‘puzzles’ and backtracking get tedious while in Metroid it was interesting. I just stopped playing the game in the middle of it. I was too bored. Meanwhile, I happily grind in Rogue Legacy.

My expectations are higher than most, but Shantae felt very uneven good game.


More Commercials

Malstrom: Internet! Let us make 1, 2 Switch the ultimate E-Sport.

Internet: *crickets*



I’m already sick of 1, 2 Switch.



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