Posted by: seanmalstrom | April 1, 2017

Dungeon 3 down in Zelda BoW “Wow!”

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75 hours in.

53 shrines done.

Have Master Sword.

Defeated third dungeon. First one was Elephant. Second was Lizard. Third was Bird.

The lead-up to the Big Fat Bird was probably easiest and most enjoyable of the three so far. The Big Fat Bird itself was stupid, boring, though cool in art design, and I HATED doing the dungeon. The boss fight was equally as dumb, but seemingly easier than the other two. It may be that I am getting more powerful.

Rito village sucks worse than the Gorons which I didn’t think possible. All they do is live in gigantic tree house with stairs that go round and round. Boring. They don’t even fly. I was hoping for City in the Sky or something linking the Rito to Thunderbird or the bird warriors in Final Palace in Zelda 2. Instead, I get lame characters that try to make recipes, play accordions, and are just dumb as hell. Rito big birds are as dumb as the Goron.

I think I might explore Hebra mountains before going to Geruda Desert especially since I bought all that winter gear.

The shrines around Rito Village are NOT FUN TO GET. I fucking hate these ‘puzzles to solve to get shrine to appear’. Fuck that shit. You just waste the overworld with Aonuma shit. Best shrines are those you have to get to in overworld.

What is fun in the game is that it has a ‘one more hour’ addictive quality to it. You have a long term goal that you want to keep inching toward. To me, it is getting ancient armor which means getting money and destroying guardian beings to get parts.

If you play Zelda BoW “Wow!” too long, like ten hours in a day, you get a feedback loop that makes you hate the game. You set it aside for a few days, come back to it on a day off, and you watch your day disappear just like that (!) as you accomplish almost nothing. Zelda BoW “Wow!” has to be the best airplane game of all time. I can’t wait until I get sick next so I just play BoW “Wow!” to make time go by.

Finally found out that the Master Sword shoots. Yes, you ‘throw’ the Master Sword where it doesn’t throw, it just shoots like you would shooting arrows. Pretty cool.

Mario Kart appears in a month. I hope I get done with Zelda by then!

Going to rename the Divine Beasts to Lame Beasts.


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Gecko (that sells insurance)

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Big Bird

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Joe Camel

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What is really lame is that they went back to the 8-bit drawing board of using the four elements for the beasts: Earth (Camel), Fire (Lizard), Air (Bird), and Water (Elephant). What is Link, Captain Planet? Is the fifth Divine Beast going to be related to Hearts?

Above: Is this the future of Link? Oh, I hope not!


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