Email: My reaction to Breath of the Wild’s DLC

I waited for the final part of the DLC to come out before buying it
and re-playing the game, and here are my thoughts:

– You pretty much can’t fight anything on the Plateau at the start of
the game on Master Mode aside from the Chuchus and the bats, because
everything else has too much health, and what weapons you do find and
scavenge are too weak. This makes the first hour or so of the game
pretty much stealth, which is just meh compared to normal mode

– After getting through that, the game picks up again because you
start to get weapons that do actual damage so actually killing things
becomes an option again, and some of the chests you can get from the
floating rafts have nice goodies in them

– Eventually though, the monster difficulty ramps up to the point
where they’re not worth fighting (unless you need specific materials
to upgrade certain armors) because they both take too long to kill and
you waste a lot of weapons doing so. I’ve gotten to the point where
almost everything is silver or gold so I just ignore or run by most of
them

– Most of the DLC-only armor is pretty useless and only thrown in to
reference previous games in the series. They can’t be upgraded either
so they quickly fall off in value, especially given how quickly enemy
tiers upgrade in Master Mode

– Trial of the Sword is long and tedious, especially on Master Mode,
and is pretty pointless like you said because if you can do it you
really don’t need the upgrade in the first place

– Champion’s Ballad is much of the same, only it comes at the tail-end
of the game where the rewards you get from it are pretty useless by
the time you get them (the motorcycle and lower cooldowns on the
Champion’s Gifts)

Overall, I don’t think the DLC was really worth it. Master Mode’s
difficulty is all over the place and the extra stuff really feels more
tacked-on than anything else.

Majora’s Mask is godsend for Master Mode early on because with it, you can run throughout the monsters. In fact…

R-ader, I -m l-s-ng con-nect-on…

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Hello! It is I, Aonuma! I have taken over the Malstrom blog to telepathically speak to you directly.

You doubt my DLC, but how would you know? How many Zelda games have YOU made? That’s what I thought. I bet you don’t even make best selling video games, do you? Who are you, you worm, to question ME. Do you think proper DLC would be to add new enemy types or a way to reduce the breaking of your items? Noooo! Motorcycles, reader, that is what Zelda needs! Now you know about the Breath of the  Wild sequel! It will be about motorcycles! Link is already on a motorcycle in Mario Kart, so why not have everyone in Hyrule be on a motorcycle?

It will be in a cyberpunk Hyrule, where everyone rides motorcycles, and the Champions from Breath of the Wild return for the same reason Tingle returns too. It will be about bike gangs just like Akira! Oh boy! My favorite movie! Akira! Akira! Akira!

Yeah, we don’t give a shit about the DLC. We just want to put out the game, ignore its flaws, and make the next game be about what we want: motorcycles. We had a Zelda about trains, now we need a Zelda about motorcycles. Haha! I am too funny! Now I leave this annoying blog to go work on my next motorcycle masterpiece.

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Oh my, reader. What just happened? I just lost control of the site….

Is this a shape of things to come? Is this an ominous foretelling of Zelda doom?

Above: 4:00 in: DAHHHH DA DAH DAHH!!!! Ominous future for Zelda indeed!