[Doh, forgot to hit publish on this days ago. haha]
Ahh, the Nintendo Direct is over. Let us begin…
Kirby Star Allies
*snore*
Who gives a shit about Kirby? After 16 bit Kirby, has any Kirby ever mattered?
Okami HD
Note it said only E-shop.
Okami is a truly awful video game. Do not listen to Internet hype. Okami bombed on the Gamecube, bombed on the PlayStation 2, bombed on the Wii, and it will bomb here as well. Why is Okami being re-released if no one likes it? It may explain why it is an E-shop version. It seems like some of these remasters are the developers wishing and praying that the internet praise will translate to market action. It won’t.
Sushi Striker: The Way of Sushido
Fuck this shit.
Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes
These ‘Travis’ games are also those games that get tons of Internet praise but die in the market. Travis 3 looks like a budget indie game; it is so bad.
Dark Souls Remastered
After Demon Souls, Dark Souls 1,2,3 and Bloodborne, I think this deposit has been mined out. Why on earth would a handheld version of Dark Souls matter today? Does anyone want to replay Dark Souls when all these other Dark Souls games exist?
Mario Tennis Aces
This one looks very interesting, but it could go either way. This game could be really, really fun or really really lame. Knowing Nintendo like I do: probably really lame.
“How dare you say that, Malstrom!”
I say that because of some shitty Nintendo behavior such as the endless ports such as…
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker
This is a really, really shitty game that has ZERO replay value. Why is this $20 budget Wii U throw-away game being ported to the Switch and 3DS? Why not port a better game such as NSMB U and Luigi U? Hell, even Pikmin 3 on Switch makes more sense than this piece of shit.
Underdale
*Yawn*
Crash Bandicoot N-Sane Trilogy
Three games in one is a tempting offer. However, how have these games aged? PlayStation Era games age like milk, 8/16 bit games have aged like wine.
Little Nightmares
What is this shit?!? Fucking ‘horror’ games. You want to know what a horror game is? Any NES game made by Jaleco or LJN. Now that is scary stuff.
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
*snore*
Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition
Above: Don’t let the beginning of this song fool you. It grows into an awesome bad-ass song for you to kick everyone’s ass.
Is this game more addictive than Zelda BOW “Wow!”? Almost!
This is Zelda 5! Get it, and it you will see why.
Zelda 1 – Legend of Zelda
Zelda 2 – Adventure of Link
Zelda 3 – Link to the Past
Zelda 4 – Ocarina of Time
Zelda 5 – Hyrule Warriors
Zelda 6 – Breath of the Wild
(Handheld Zeldas don’t count.)
Hyrule Warriors puts all the Aonuma Zeldas into a blender, hits purree, and out comes fun zelda gameplay without the shitty Aonuma stories and ‘puzzles!’. Hyrule Warriors is the most fun Zelda game between Ocarina of Time and Breath of the Wild.
“But what about Link’s Crossbow Training?”
Shut up, reader.
*Bonus: BoW “Wow” Princess Zelda model. Much more pleasing to look at.
ARMS tournaments
We’re still not going to buy this game. But I love its theme.
“Ohh oooh ohhhh…. ohhh ohhh ohhhhhh”
Splatoon 2 version 3.0
*snore*
Splatoon 2 first paid DLC: Octo Expansion
This looks interesting, and I like the single player idea. But there is no cartridge. I’ll buy Splatoon 2: Definitive Edition when it comes out for Super Switch in 2024. (What! You think these Switch games won’t be ported? Oh ho ho ho! You need to read more, reader!)
Octopath Traveler
Greatest of All Time. When this game is released, the birds will sing happier, the sun will shine brighter, the air will be crisper, and all will be right in the world. The demo only showed two ‘starts’ of the game. I worry if the game can pull off a satisfying conclusion. But the combo of jobs is really, really cool. This game screams classic 16-bit Final Fantasy quality to me which is why it is going to fly off the shelves.
I am eyeing that special edition too. I need that map! That CD! I must have it, reader. I shall not be denied!
Above: This NEW Classic will be joining our 8/16 bit friends in July. If this game has a strong finish and offers replayability, it’ll get a guaranteed Malstrom Award (in twenty years of course).
So what to make of Switch Year 2 so far… It is as you would expect. Some games were not mentioned that I want like Street Fighter Collection.
The strong quality titles I see are Octopath and Hyrule Warriors. Mario Tennis Aces could go either way. The rest are ports and trash.
Market side, I don’t think any of these games will sell that much. Mario Tennis might capture some of the family market. These games are to keep the Switch locomotive going to E3. E3 will announce some junky games for the rest of summer and early fall with the heavy hitters coming for the holidays.
Switch Smash will be heralding the online Nintendo network… as I suspected as did other people.
“Where are the games, Malstrom? Oh noes!”
It takes about two years for these games to be made. I expect 2019, which is two years after the Switch released, to be full of games. 2019 and 2020 will be floods of software. We may be seeing so many ports now simply because they get done faster.