Posted by: seanmalstrom | May 8, 2018

Nintendo’s Laughable Online Service

Jonathan Goldsmith is back and better than ever.

Above: Malstorm is never surprised by Nintendo

One month ago, Malstrom said:

Why would Nintendo do this? [putting their classic games onto their online stream service] It is because it is CHEAP and EASY and FAST to do. Nintendo has done it before. Nintendo also likes to milk IP before altering it (hence the Classic Minis). And Nintendo wants to push their online service. You need software for that, and Nintendo needs more than just Smash.

Nintendo won’t put the classics on a cartridge for you when they can get more mileage of bundling them with a new platform. In this case, it will be the online platform.

Almost a year ago, Malstrom said:

Source: Fils-Aime: What we’ve said is that as we communicate the specifics of the Nintendo Switch online service then at that point we’ll communicate what it is we’re doing with our legacy content.

What does legacy content have to do with online? NOTHING. But Nintendo is interested in using you guys to pad out their online service.

I’ll stick to the original carts. Screw this.

OVER A YEAR AGO, Malstrom said……

You guys are going to keep being disappointed until you see how Nintendo looks at its old VC games.

VC games, to Nintendo, are not a product but a ‘wild card’ tool.

Oh no! 3DS is in trouble! Lower price! But what about those early adopters? Declare them to be ambassadors and ‘give them’ all these ‘free’ VC games. See? VC games as tool.

Oh no! Wii U has no games as the system fades! Therefore, Nintendo launches VC games on it. VC games are a tool, not a product.

On Switch, the purpose of VC games will be to push Nintendo’s online system. Watch and see!

I know Nintendo better than they know themselves!

Now the question everyone is asking on the Gaming Message Forums (ugh) is…

“Does Nintendo not know how shitty their online service is? How can we communicate to them?”

You do not understand, dear reader. You can communicate all you want to Nintendo, NINTENDO DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ONLINE!!!!

And by online, we mean the standard that you know. They don’t care about it. Nintendo would rather re-invent online gaming than play follow the leader.

But I point to Steve Jobs’ response to networking. Yes, the networking standard wasn’t defined by Apple. But Steve Jobs knew that. He admitted, “This was the standard customers were used to,” and Apple had to adapt to that standard. This was back in the beginning of the second Jobs era when Apple was teetering towards bankruptcy.

Some game companies have done extremely well by embracing online. One game company is called Blizzard Entertainment. The more they embraced online, the bigger the company got. Warcraft 2 was such a massive hit, that Blizzard even put demos of Kali on the CD! Blizzard then makes Battle Net for games like Diablo and Starcraft. And then, Blizzard goes further with the service. Eventually, Blizzard makes a MMO called World of Warcraft. You know the story.

But there is another game company that did not see the future of gaming as online.

“What was the future of gaming did they see, Master Malstrom?” asks the innocent reader.

This future of gaming, they foresaw, was 3d. Oh yes. And I do not mean 3d graphics. I mean 3d outputs. 3d inputs. 3d everything!

This company was Nintendo.

The more Nintendo embraces 3d, the further Nintendo’s fortunes fall. N64 was a fall. 3DS was a fall. Virtual Boy was a fall off a cliff.

Shigeru Miyamoto bet the company on the wrong horse. And he is extremely bitter about it.

The reason why Nintendo doesn’t care about online is because they are obsessed with 3d. It is a sick obsession. If you want Nintendo to start progressing with their online, you need to attack their efforts at ‘more 3d’ and ‘more virtual reality’.


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