Posted by: seanmalstrom | February 12, 2018

Wii U Review: Steamworld Collection

Two games on one disc. How well do they play?

“I don’t know, Malstrom,” sniffs the reader. “This is why I am reading your page.”

Well, fuck you too, reader! Very well, I will play them for you.

The first thing you will notice is the selection screen for TWO GAMES: Steamworld Dig and Steamworld Heist. Both of the games are in NES packaging despite these games being recent releases. At first, I was annoyed by this. However, I grew to appreciate and love the NES design artwork. These games desire to be NES classics. Do they hold up?

Steamworld Dig

Above: Steamworld Dig trailer

In this game, you dig down in a 2d plane with graphics that resemble a 16-bit game. You collect ore. Then you return to the town on top to sell the ore for money. With this money, you buy upgrades such as better pick-axes, lights that last longer, better armor, etc. Sometimes you will find special rooms when you dig. These rooms lead to permanent Metroid-esque upgrades such as double jumps.

Many people say this game is like Super Metroid. I say, though, this game plays like a hypothetical Zelda game (which may occur if Aonuma kept getting his way in ‘design’) of a 2d Mining Zelda game. The ‘overworld’ is the digging. The ‘dungeons’ are the little doors you find that lead to an ‘item’ which is a permanent upgrade. Sometimes, the item may be materials that lead to upgrades. There are no ‘bosses’ in this game except the end boss where it is more of you killing his generators.

I kept hearing praise for this stupid game when I started. I couldn’t figure out what the fuss was. I hated the Steamworld aesthetic. I despised the ‘characters’ in the game with their annoying talking. Why is there so much text? The mining became tedious. What a boring game. F!

But then I kept playing. And playing. And playing. This game is quite addictive. You keep wanting the upgrades, and you want to keep going further, and further. The more I played this game, the better it got. Sometimes, there is a curve where the enjoyment level of a game goes down the further you get. This doesn’t happen. The enjoyment curve function keeps going up and up and up without limit. All the boring shit is in the very beginning of the game. As you get further, the game gets more interesting. The developers did a good job of putting surprises inside the mines.

The game universe eventually makes the Steamworld aesthetic make sense to the game and story. Yes, you are digging through a huge mine. But past that mine is the Old World. There is nothing past the Old World. Or is there? Wonders await. The clash with the final boss tells us of your hero’s true function.

This game has the class of a NES game which is extremely rare today. The game is certainly not difficult, but it is not an easy cakewalk. You will die in the game. I spent around 8 hours to finish it. I did thoroughly enjoy my time with the game.

Question: does this game have replay value? I don’t know. The levels are supposed to be randomized. Since this game plays like an RPG, you don’t want to replay it after beating it. Due to that reason, I am going to say the replayability of Steamworld Dig is suspect, but the random environments will help in another playthrough.

If you like Super Metroid, get this game.

If you like Terraria, get this game.

If you like classic Zelda, get this game.

The game will taste like crap at first. Keep it in your mouth. It will slowly sweeten, and at the end it will taste as sweet as bubblegum.


Steamworld Heist

Above: Steamworld Heist Trailer

The other game on the disc is Steamworld Heist. It takes place in the ‘Steamworld Universe’ full of robots with odd personalities, but this game is a tactics shooter team-based game. Each mission has you kill alien robots in a 2d side view of a ship. There are turns. However, there are little use of numbers due to the physical representation of what you see. (You dodge shots better the more your robot is covered by a barrier, for example.) You can ricochet shots off ceilings, floors, and walls.

Once you kill the enemy robots, you take their money. Your robots upgrade in experience, you buy new items and weapons, and you go on to harder more powerful ships. This game plays like Firefly the TV show in that you are outlaws taking over ships’s goods.

The game is beautifully produced, as Steamworld Dig is, with well drawn graphics, great sound effects, and everything is very polished. My problem with Steamworld Heist is that I am not a fan of tactical games. I’m sorry, but I am not. This is not the game’s fault. I simply cannot get into Steamworld Heist because its nature is tactical, and I am not. That said, this is a very well polished game. It feels like an early era Blizzard game.

There is a problem with these Steamworld games that the creators keep ignoring. Video games draw much of their popularity from their universe. Metroid used Alien for example. Contra has Rambo (and Aliens). Super Mario Brothers has Alice in Wonderland. World of Warcraft has Lord of the Rings. Starcraft has Starship Troopers. Command and Conquer has the Iraq War.

Sid Meir was asked why he didn’t put futuristic technology in Civilization. “It is because the player cannot associate with it.” It is why Civilization is popular while the more gameplay interesting Alpha Centauri cannot become popular. People can associate with gunpowder and the wheel, but they cannot associate with magtube transports or super fungi consciousness transfer.

Steamworld Universe is very well polished, lovely to look at, lovely to listen to, but yet I don’t like it. I cannot associate with this universe. If the game wishes to be more sci-fi, they need to be acquire more sci-fi tropes. Playing Steamworld Dig made me think of Generation 1 Transformers for some reason especially when I got to the core. I think the Steamworld Universe design will not and can never be popular. They need to go back to the drawing board on that, or look and raid a pop culture entity.

Steamworld Collection is a solid, solid game that has two games. Since these games are mostly digital only, the physical version is a cool deal. Steamworld Dig is only slightly less addictive than Zelda: Breath of the Wild. This collection isn’t a reason to buy the Wii U, but you do want it in your collection. B Plus is the final grade. I think these games will age very well as they are very underrated. They are much better than AAA gaming, much better!

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Posted by: seanmalstrom | February 12, 2018

Metro UK is confused. Let us help them

Listen to this first line from Metro UK:

The Switch is an anomaly in many ways, not least the fact that it’s Nintendo’s second console this generation – after the abject failure of the Wii U.


This premise is not correct. Switch is not another console of Generation 8. It is the first console of Generation 9. Nintendo knows that, which is why they intend Generation 9 to last as long as possible. Switch is not just successor to the Wii U, it is successor to the 3DS. 3DS is still being sold for the same reasons why NES was still being sold during 16 bit era, or why Gameboy Advance was sold when DS was out: because 3DS is very profitable as the costs come down at the tail end of a generation.

So it’s entirely possible that while the Switch is technically supported for seven years or more it’s superseded by a newer model long before that. And that’s ignoring the fact that there are likely to be hardware revisions before thern which change the physical design but not its innards. Of course, Nintendo are always impossible to predict. But what these comments do seem to mean is that the company has no intention of dropping the format any time soon.

First off, this is a grammar issue. Nintendo IS always impossible to predict, not ARE. Nintendo is SINGULAR, not plural. A corporation is a singular entity like a church is. The word corporation comes from the root word of corpus meaning ‘people’. Why writers are writing that Nintendo is a plural shows how literally dumb they are (or so ideologically obsessed to force plural grammar on every corporation).

Second, Nintendo is very easy to predict. Like a PID controller, you look at the feedbacks of the PAST, the FUTURE, and the PRESENT which determine what happens. The problem is that the analysts are not interested in Nintendo’s past. The NES? Who cares. SNES? Bah. They aren’t that interested in Nintendo’s present either. As for Nintendo’s future, they keep using the incorrect perspective of Sony and Microsoft for Nintendo.

There may be revisions, of course. However, I think Nintendo is branching outside of the video game business for increase of its revenue. Look to see how Nintendo leverages its IP outside the video game format.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | February 10, 2018

Wii U Review: NES Remix Pack

NES Remix Pack is the physical disc version of two games: NEX Remix 1 and 2. You would think such a game would be up my alley, but it actually competes against Nintendo Land as being the worst Nintendo title ever made.

The marketing is very slick for this game. You look at the back of the box, and you see an image like this:

“Wow!” you think. “These are old games played in new ways!” But you will be disappointed.

The title screen is fairly promising. You have NES sprites literally jumping at you! But then you go into the game.

You will hear this theme over and over and over again. You will be sick of it. “Dun dun dunn dun dun dunnn dun dun dunn….”

The way how the game works is throwing ‘challenges’ at you. There are columns. There is a NES Remix column, and each game has its own column. Each challenge gives 1-3 stars depending on how well you complete it. Each game challenge unlocks only when you complete the prior one. The NES Remix challenges unlock depending on how many stars you have (including additional game columns).

Let us say you like Donkey Kong. So you play the first challenge: jump over a barrel. It is literally that. You jump over a barrel and ding! you are done. It takes five seconds at most. You gain three stars! Then the next challenge unlocks. Jump over two barrels at once! You click ‘yes’, and then it starts you in the middle of the level. Two barrels are coming at you. You jump over them. 2 seconds of playtime. Ding! There may be 6 to 15 of such challenges. They are always ‘tutorials’ of NES games.

Above: “Get to the finish line using turbo!” So lame. So boring.

“What about the NES Remixes?” you ask. They are incredibly lame. Imagine playing an airship level of Super Mario Brothers 3 with the entire stage being silhouette. Imagine playing Mario Brothers with the screen zooming out or in. And that’s about it.

The ‘best’ remix is probably Winter time in Super Mario Brothers 2: Lost Levels:

Above: This is as fun as it gets…

If you go to NES Remix 2, it uses more interesting games than the black box NES titles. You have games like Super Mario Brothers 3, Zelda 2, Metroid, and others. I did enjoy three rainbow starring Zelda 2 challenges in one go (God, I rock!). NES Remix 2 is almost exactly like NES Remix 1 except with different games.

Worse, there is an XP bar in this ‘game’. As you gain ‘XP’ or whatever numbers, you collect many Mii-verse stamps to use in your Mii-verse posts. Since Mii-verse is shut down, all these stamps are worthless.

Keep in mind that the game does not include the full games, only bite sized challenges. You’re better off spending the money getting NES Classic Mini with all these games and more.

NES Remix 2 does include some ‘apology’ games that can be chosen on the main menu. One of them is the complete Super Mario Brothers game but mirrored where you can only play Luigi and only move right-to-left. The third game is a scoring game similar to the NES World Challenge carts where you play for score in Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Brothers 3, and Dr. Mario.

The Internet reviews on this game are few, but the ones that are present like the youtube ones and the metacritic one are very positive. Folks, do not be deceived. Any enjoyment from NES Remix Pack is entirely due to the NES games themselves. You will be wanting to play the actual games instead of these ‘challenges’.

Have you ever wondered what tutorials in NES games would look like? That is what the ‘challenges’ are… nothing but tutorials on NES games. I kid you not! While Nintendo Land was bad, it was simply a bad game. NES Remix Pack is raping history by creating tutorials to ancient games that got along fine without them. It shows Nintendo has no understanding of what is going on, and it shows Nintendo being incredibly cheap to put out a crappy product such as this.

Score: F!

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Posted by: seanmalstrom | February 10, 2018

Nintendo QA March 2018 with your host, Master Malstrom

Nintendo recently held an Investor QA and a presentation. What Nintendo doesn’t realize is that I was present in the crowd and my microphones were there. Shhhh, reader. Don’t tell them. It’ll be a secret between the two of us.

Maybe this info was released earlier, but I didn’t know that the new Mario movie was going to be animated (I assume computer animated) and that Miyamoto will be producer. I suppose Miyamoto’s role is to protect the IP from over-zealous Hollywood directors as that is what producers tend to do.

Then there is info about the Classic Editions of NES and SNES. Listen!

We have announced that we will resume production
for NES Classic Edition this year. We plan to
continue selling NES Classic Edition and Super NES
Classic Edition this year. We view them as an
opportunity to garner interest in Nintendo Switch
from those who have not interacted with video
games in a long time, or ever.

More NES/SNES Editions coming in 2018! But Nintendo, I thought no one wanted this ‘old crappy games’? After all, we were told that people only want the new 3d Mario, no one wants that old shitty Super Mario Brothers 3 that Miyamoto doesn’t even like.

And now for the QA.

Asking about Labo, listen to this:

“…it emerged from the idea of somehow setting the Joy-Con controllers, which can be considered a mass of sensors, into some form of attachment. I’m sure we surprised everyone with the use of cardboard, but it is not so far-fetched if you consider how familiar the material is at least to Japanese people who from a young age use it for play and as a material for creating things such as fancy crafts.”

-Takahashi (bolded is Malstrom’s)

Apparently, we are not familiar with cardboard unlike the superior ‘Japanese people’. As children, we’ve never played with cardboard. And we’ve never created cardboard type material for ‘fancy crafts’.

Seriously, these guys have their heads so far up their asses.

But check out Miyamoto’s golden quote here that sums up everything wrong with Labo:

“…Labo gives me reassurance that everyone inside the company understands and is committed to Nintendo as a company that innovates new ways to have fun and not as a company that only makes video games.”

-Shigeru Miyamoto (bolded is Malstrom’s)

Immediately, I trashed the Labo as ‘trash’ because in a video game context, it is ‘trash’. This is not like Wii Sports or Wii Fit which were video games but broadened what a video game could do. Labo is not a video game at all! This is coming straight from Miyamoto!

I don’t know about the reader, but I bought the Nintendo Switch TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES. Labo is not a video game. There is no ‘gameplay’ in it. You  just make stuff out of cardboard and utilize the Switch’s hardware sensors to interact with it. THERE IS NO GAME.

Everyone knows Nintendo makes more than just video games. But here is the rub, Nintendo’s successful business history is about making GAMES. Card games, toy games, video games, but it is all revolving around games of a sort. If Nintendo made complex board games, everyone would eat them up.

Investors ask about the life cycle.

Up until now, the hardware lifecycle has trended at around five or six years, but it would be very interesting if we could prolong that life cycle, and I think you should be looking forward to that.

-Miyamoto (Emphasis is Malstrom’s)

So what has changed ‘up until now’? In fact, why was there a console lifecycle in the first place? NES and SNES ARE STILL SELLING as classic remixes. Are their life cycles over? NES had an absurdly long life cycle as did the SNES.

I have another theory to present to the reader. I would bet money that a huge part of the ‘Nintendo Life Cycle’ is about Miyamoto’s mad quest for ‘more 3d’. I actually believe the console life cycle has depended more on Miyamoto’s absurd 3d appetite than on consumer’s appetite for 3d progress. Continued sales for NES/SNES Classic consoles including sales of 2d Mario, etc. show that consumers don’t give a shit about the 3d.

SNES, on launch, tried very, very hard to be 3d. We got Mode 7 effects from F-Zero, Pilotwings, and Super Mario Kart. Nintendo, who is said to be ‘cost conscious’, was throwing money hand over fist to put in Super FX chips to make Starfox because ‘OMG 3d!’. Nintendo even outsourced the 2d platformer, which made their mark in video games, over to non-Nintendo entities such as Rare for Donkey Kong Country games because Miyamoto kept having orgasms over 3d technology.

The N64 was about one thing: 3d. This is why it failed. “Every Nintendo game must be in 3d!” Nintendo seemed to say. This worked well for some games such as racing games like Mario Kart or exploration games like Zelda. But Mario 64 was never the hit when compared to its earlier predecessors. If it weren’t for the America’s desire for Mario, Nintendo 64 would have totally failed in America like it did in Europe and Japan.

Gamecube was about ‘more 3d!’ It doesn’t matter that 2d games still sell extremely strongly like Smash Brothers, who cares? More 3d!

When game consoles went HD, people assumed Nintendo didn’t want to go the high powered route. Nintendo kept the same path they were going: more 3d. Instead of just 3d in the screen, Wii-mote was about 3d controllers. Meanwhile, Miyamoto and all give all these justifications about why they make what they make, but it is all about pushing the flag forward for 3d. (I suspect Nintendo’s end game is Virtual Reality console which Nintendo already did make a Virtual Boy. Virtual Boy was a ‘toy’ just as Labo is. Labo makes perfect sense if you think of it as Nintendo’s furthered quest toward 3d and Virtual Reality despite it using cardboard.)

DS was about 3d from Nintendo. Mario 64 DS. Metroid Prime Hunters. 3d! 3d! 3d!

3DS is about 3d. It is a console designed for 3d output. “Now is the time for 3d!” Iwata and Miyamoto would say.

Switch resolves the issue of Nintendo dealing with the market split of handheld heavy (Japan) and console heavy (America) markets. But what is next for ‘omg 3d’? Nintendo doesn’t know. Nintendo is still quite confused. Nintendo was focused on putting out their financial fires which they now have done. You cannot build the Great 3D Tower when your own company is on financial fire. This is why the amiibos are vanishing because Nintendo saw the amiibos as a way to get fast money to put out such fires. Thanks Amiibo suckers for your Nintendo donations.

To those who don’t see the Nintendo sick, sick obsession over 3d, why did they design the 3DS if they didn’t want to push 3d? Why did they spend so much on 3d sensors that very few games use for the Switch?

I am not an advocate for Nintendo to follow the direction of computer gaming. I want Nintendo to invent new ways of playing video games, not new ways to interact with 3d technology by removing video games altogether. This is what Labo is.

The sick, sick obsession is coming to its final fruit: Nintendo wants to be a 3d company, not a video game company. Nintendo would rather make 3d ‘toys’ before they make 2d games.

2d games increase the market by huge amounts. Just look at NSMB sales numbers in connection to the hardware numbers. But Nintendo has no interest in that.

It is all about 3d. As soon as Switch and theme park and movie gives Nintendo coffers flush with money, Nintendo will make more risky stabs with 3d. Mark my words.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 27, 2018

Email: Don’t forget Game Boy and NES versions launched together

A very good day to you Malstrom!

To add a bit to your argument of how much Nintendo’s handheld line is defined by home console ports, I wanted to mention that certain games got an NES and Game Boy version very close to each other.

The biggest example I can give of this would be Tetris. I’ve not seen it mentioned yet that the NES version of Tetris preceded the Game Boy version by only six months. Dr. Mario is another game that launched day and date on both systems in Japan.

Wii U ports being such a big part of the Switch line-up is one of the things I expected as early as I saw Mario Kart 8 in the Switch reveal trailer. And to be honest, I’m completely fine with it. First of all it puts all those games on cartridge where they belong (also improves the loading times in the case of Nintendo’s games). Second is that the games themselves get much improved in both content and performance(I’m looking forward to Hyrule Warriors because of this). And lastly is that the games have gone fully portable rather then be stuck to the diet coke variety of portability that the Wii U offered.

All in all, these ports may well hold a key reason why Nintendo’s handheld line has been so robust in terms of sales. Due to them being older games, they make for a safe investment as you can look up to see if a game is good or not. It definately helped knowing Super Mario Bros. 3 was great before I bought it for the Game Boy Advance. The same thing goes for people who picked up Ocarina 3D on 3DS. Or for Tetris on the Game Boy even.

Just wanted to add that.

This is true. Even third party games did an amazing job on the Gameboy side. Look at Gameboy version of Ducktales which is identical to the NES version! While the Mega Man Gameboy games were odd, Mega Man IV and V on Gameboy were spectacular games in their own right.

People say… even Nintendo said… “Handheld experiences need to be designed for handheld consoles.” After all, we saw the non-Nintendo competition to handhelds fail. Sega failed with Game Gear. Sony failed with PSP and Vita. But was it true that we didn’t want to play home console games on the go? All the Nintendo home console to handheld ports say otherwise.

What destroyed Nintendo’s competitors in the long term was treating the handheld like a second class citizen in the world of gaming. Nintendo never did that… ever. Nintendo pulled out all the stops to get Tetris. Nintendo put out big games on the Gameboy such as the sequel to Metroid, Mario games, Zelda, and even brand new games such as a new franchise called Kirby. Nintendo never saw the handheld as second class.  This is how Gameboy came up with Pokemon while every other handheld competitor can only get ports. If you treat your handheld like a second class citizen, you will only get second class citizen games.

It is the modern and western belief to think that Nintendo prioritized the home console over the handheld console. In terms of budgets and putting experienced people in charge of bigger teams, this is true but that is due to the more competitive nature of the home console as well as the games requiring larger teams. Japan switched to primary handhelds with the DS and stayed that way. Nintendo would, at least, have switched that way too.

But the NES, itself, was a child of the innovation from the Game and Watch. Gunpei’s ‘D-Pad’, invented for the Game and Watch, was slapped on the home console and changed gaming forever.

Analysts and ‘hardcore gamers’ keep talking like the gaming market revolves around the home consoles and the handhelds get little to no mention. But if you add in the long line including the Game and Watch, it is clear that the handhelds have a long legacy. The home console existed only due to technological reasons. “Use your own display output!” Now that the display outputs have radically fallen in price, there is no reason for the home console to exist.

And this is why Microsoft and Sony are worried.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 27, 2018

“Don’t call it Generation 9!!!!”

Then what should we call it?

“There are no generations anymore!!! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!!!!”

But if you look at the sweeping history of consoles, they certainly fall into…

“No generations! I won’t hear of any of this talk! It is all just a wikipedia invention anyway!”

So your contribution to this discussion is to shut down all discussion on generations?

“They don’t exist, Malstrom! You hear me? THEY DON’T EXIST!!!!”

Why are they so defensive, reader? It is one thing to debate whether or not a generation begins or end, it is another to say there are no and never have been generations in the first place.

One could argue, “Just as the PS4 Pro is a re-release of the PS4, as the Xbox One Whatever is to the Xbox One, so too is the Switch a re-release of the Wii U. Hell, the Switch is filled with Wii U ports! Wii U got canceled and thrown off of shelves early. Switch is just a Wii U part deux!”

This is actually a decent argument. The flood of Wii U ports on the Switch doesn’t bolster Switch’s case of being a Gen 9 device. However, the Switch is heir to not just home console but to handheld. The Switch’s release coincides with where the 3DS successor should release (six years after).

Switch is hard to understand because it is not just the heir of the Nintendo home console line but their handheld line as well.

“Bullshit! They market the Switch as a home console!”

Yeah, so you pay $60 for the games. But in Japan, the Switch is not marketed as a home console. The Switch is marketed as a handheld. The marketing is indicative of geographical and regional differences, not philosophical.

The line of handheld generations gets little attention. One extremely common trend is for Nintendo to port their home console games onto their handhelds.

“What about the Gameboy?”

It could not port NES games onto its system because it was too underpowered. However, it did mimic the NES games as best it could. Gameboy Color began to have NES ports. Gameboy Advance was filled with NES and SNES ports (NES Classic Line, Super Mario Advance 1, 2, 3, 4, etc). DS had SNES and N64 ports (hello Mario 64 DS). 3DS had N64, Gamecube, and Wii ports (hello Ocarina of Time and Majora Mask Remastered. Hello Donkey Kong Country Returns 3DS).

The successor to the 3DS is going to have Wii U ports.

*gasp* And look! The Switch has Wii U ports! I believe the Wii U ports are indicative of Switch as an heir to 3DS instead of Switch as a re-released Wii U.

If Nintendo was still doing two consoles, the successor to 3DS could be something like 4DS. And 4DS would be playing, early on, ported versions of Wii U games.

dos equis score GIF by Dos Equis Gifs to the World

So the question remains: Why the hysteria when someone whispers “Switch and Generation 9”. It is a premise that automatically puts the Xbox One Whatever and PlayStation 4 Pro as ‘prior generation’. It also says that the console landscape has radically shifted. If PlayStation 5 is just a big box that connects to a TV, will that still find a similar market? These consoles are extremely risky billion dollar gambles. What if the market wants a console on the go? Japan clearly does, and Japan may be further than the rest of us.

The Gen 9 of Switch flares up questions and scenarios in their minds they do not want to answer. Repeat after me: “It is all a fad. It is all a fad.” This is what they want to say. I know it. You know it.

Above: Gamers drag out the ‘Big Bug Brain’ of the Game Industry out into the open. What is it thinking? “It’s afraid!!!!!” *wild cheers*

Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 24, 2018

Email: Mario monopoly

Sadly playing Mario Monopoly tonight with the kids. All the spaces are named after levels from the Wii u Launch title* :(



Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 24, 2018

Email: Super Mario 64

The other day I decided to try and play Super Mario 64 again. I had tried it a few years back but didn’t like it. After playing it again, I remember why I didn’t like it the first time. The game is really terrible in so many ways. Unlike later 3D games, you can’t control the camera in this one, and the camera is just atrocious. As a result, it’s a terrible struggle to see what you need to see.

Also, with 2D Mario the objective is clear: To reach the end of the level. In this game, it’s not clear what the objective is at all. I was running around one of the levels completely lost on what to do. I know I could’ve gone online to find this out, but I couldn’t find the motivation. Instead, I just quit. It’s hard to see how Nintendo could have ever thought that this game would be a suitable replacement for 2D Mario.

The camera is bad in Super Mario 64 because Nintendo lost the patent for the camera system they were using and had to come up with something else.

There isn’t a reason why 3d Mario is bad; it is simply bad. Nintendo has spent gazillions and decades trying to ‘fix’ 3d Mario, and they have nothing without blowing up the marketing budget.

What I want to point out is the hypocrisy of Shigeru Miyamoto. He says on 2d Mario, “I have made that game. I do not want to make it again,” yet he keeps making 3d Mario again and again and again.

Some people point to Miyamoto being the key to modern Nintendo’s success. It would be interesting to seriously consider, with facts and evidence, that Miyamoto is actually the key to modern Nintendo’s downfall.

What has Miyamoto done?

He didn’t make these consoles.

He didn’t make Wii Sports.

He wasn’t the force behind NSMB.

He isn’t the one behind Mario Kart.

He isn’t the one behind Zelda (but put Aonuma in which has been a disaster).

Pikmin, in every incarnation, has been a total failure.

Donkey Kong for Gameboy (made by Miyamoto) got obliterated by Donkey Kong Country (made by Rare).

I  can only think of Nintendogs. Ooohhh. A puppy simulator!

Most of Miyamoto’s decisions have been crippling for the company. Miyamoto was behind the 3DS design. Miyamoto put Aonuma in charge of Zelda and even responded to this page saying that ‘Zelda is for story and puzzles’ which Breath of the Wild leaves out (which is why it is so popular).

Game business is hard, so not everything works. However, Miyamoto’s sick, sick obsession over 3d is very concerning. I bet Nintendo has an expensive Virtual Reality prototype they keep experimenting with so all of Nintendo’s ‘innovations’ lead to that eventual destination.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 24, 2018

Email: About Miyamoto and 3D Mario

The other day I was watching an old video from the 90s that was a preview for the Nintendo 64, and Miyamoto was interviewed about the upcoming Super Mario 64 game. Interestingly, Miyamoto said that he wanted to do 3D Mario for the SNES, but the SNES controller didn’t have the proper button layout to make it feasible. I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised.

I’m not surprised.


Posted by: seanmalstrom | January 24, 2018

Email: Guess

“A new series is being planned and written now about an extremely influential company and group of developers that no one talks about. And yes, like before, the story starts in the early 1980s and weaves through time to the present where even mighty Nintendo was heavily influenced by their success… and you have no idea who they are.”

The most obvious company to guess is Nihon Falcom, although Sir-Tech would be another good guess.

I love it when they try to guess…

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