Posted by: seanmalstrom | August 4, 2016

What is the NX Launch line-up?

If Nintendo is serious, we are going to get a serious launch line-up. Let us look at the launch line-ups of the past.

Wii U


Nintendo Land

Ubisoft games (Zombie U was exclusive)

EA games (mostly ports of older ones)

Activision (Skylanders, Call of Duty, etc.)

When we talk about launch games, we really are talking about Nintendo games. It is First Party games that are responsible for launching the console. If the console company cannot make quality first party games that makes us want to ‘buy the box that Mario is on’, then they should go home or make PC Lite Boxes.

NSMB U is because Nintendo doesn’t understand 2d Mario’s appeal and still do not understand why NSMB DS and NSMB Wii sold tens of millions. Miyamoto is so off on 2d Mario that NSMB U was originally going to be Mario Mii.

What Nintendo doesn’t know is that while there is strong market support for NSMB DS and Wii, there is also great disappointment. 2d Mario games are adventure games. You go underground, underwater, in castles, in the sky, etc. In later versions, you have a map. Super Mario Brothers 2 is accepted as a classic and legit Mario game despite radically different gameplay because it nails the adventure part down. NSMB DS and Wii were not adventure-some. They were grown in a petri dish inside Nintendo labs where they picked and prodded trying to make ‘level design’. Level design is important. But level design is the HOW, not the WHY. The WHY is the adventure. There was no adventure. As a massive fan of 2d Mario, I never bothered to pick up NSMB U. It is also 3d Mario World didn’t perform as well either.


As a grown man, I’d feel embarrassed buying this. All the women around me would think I was impotent. This is how far off Nintendo was.

3DS Launch



Some various Ubisoft and other third party games. Mostly ports.

What did DS launch with? It had Mario 64 port and a demo for Metroid Prime Hunters. DS actually had a weak launch line up, but it performed well in the sales but dropped off until Nintendogs, Mario Kart DS, and Animal crossing DS came out. Then DS became unstoppable.

Gamecube Launch

Luigi’s Mansion

Wave Race

Super Monkey Ball (Sega)

Rogue Squadron Star Wars

And some other crap.

Monkey Ball is, indeed, awesome, but this is a very weak launch line up. Good thing Smash Brothers Brawl would come out fairly soon after the launch. Gamecube also had a terrible Zelda game (Wind Waker) and a terrible Mario game (Mario Sunshine). Metroid Prime 1 and 2 did help enshrine the Gamecube to experienced gamers’ hands. More on this later.

Wii Launch

Wii Sports

Zelda: Twilight Princess

Excite Truck (remember this one?)

Some Ubisoft and other third party crap (red steel was bad)

Wii Sports was the best game ever made. Seriously. Wii Sports had so much tremendous value packed into it.

God, that music! That ambience! Wii Sports has the best ambiance of any video game ever made… including the Metroids.

And here is Twilight Princess:

Wii Sports + Zelda TP was AWESOME.

I remember.

I was there.

I remember review editions of the Wii going out to some reviewers, those who were done playing video games or reporting on them, and they went NUTS. They would update their blogs and be all gibberish because of how excited they were! They LOVED having a zelda to play, loved Wii Sports, and were excited enough to explore the rest of the library at the time (which wasn’t much unfortunately).

Iwata believed several awesome games at once creates such a frenzy of excited that the customers will go out and buy tons of shit. He’s right.

Malstrom’s Stool

If Nintendo is going to do anything in Generation 9, it is to avoid the launch fates of the 3DS and Wii U. Nintendo is determined to nail the launches. For that, they need the right launch line up.

Nintendo has been studying the launch line up of their consoles. Most especially, they are looking at the Wii. This is why Zelda BoW is coming on the NX. Moving TP to Wii was such a great idea that did so well, Nintendo is going to do it again.

Nintendo’s greatest consoles, or any great consoles, fulfill Malstrom’s Stool the best. Malstrom’s Stool has three legs for the software.

First leg is for BRAND NEW IP GAMES.



In other words…

The First leg is for the Future.

The Second leg is for the Present.

And the Third leg is for the Past.

All three together create ironclad consumer confidence. The Third leg has games we already love and know they are good. Second leg has sequels to games we love so we want to see how they are (though they might suck, but that risk is lower since they are sequels of established formulas). The First leg is the thrill of new but highly risky since the new can totally suck.

Successful consoles do not just have ‘good games’ or ‘best selling games’. They have Malstrom’s Stool.

Malstrom’s Stool: Wii

Future games were Wii Sports and the promise that motion controlled games would bring (I know… I know!)

Present games such as sequels of Mario Kart, 3d Mario, Zelda, Metroid, and the like.

Past games returning such as the Virtual Console, various ports (PS2 ports and Gamecube ports).

Virtual Console was a BIG awesome feature of the Wii. But the point is that Wii covered the Malstrom Stool perfectly which is why it was sold out for years. Nintendo’s additional games to the Wii library all fit into the stool. You had new past games such as Virtual Console and ports. You had new sequels such as the new Mario Kart. And you had future games such as Wii Fit.

Malstrom’s Stool: NES

Future games were Super Mario Brothers, Zelda, and Metroid.

Present games such as the Nintendo sports games. Sports games (aside from ones like radical changes like Wii Sports) are all ‘present games’.

Past games such as arcade ports (Donkey Kong, Pac Man, Galaga, etc.)

When game consoles fail, you can see they did not fulfill Malstorm’s Stool. SNES launch line up was full of Present games, very little future games (Super Mario World was a sequel, not ‘omg brand new’). This is how Sega made a foot hold because Sonic was NEW. It wasn’t until Nintendo put out Donkey Kong Country, which was very NEW, that the SNES righted itself up. SNES also seriously lacked Past games. There is a reason why Super Mario All-Stars is so beloved. We needed 16-bit re-releases of Zelda 1, 2, Kid Icarus.

N64 was a disaster. Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time were more ‘future’ than ‘present’ due to their radical 3d change. It worked. But what about the sequels to the present games? Nintendo lost the entire 2d platformer gamers which were their base market. What about the old games? There were none. N64 only sold in America because America was the only place that accepted 3d Mario. Despite that, the other legs of the stool should have been present to get the transition to move over.

NX Launch

Here is the story of the NX Launch line-up:

Nintendo is putting together a triple-A software line-up, to ensure NX flies out of the gate next year.

Developer Game Freak will bring Pokémon to the platform, while Nintendo’s first party titles include the previously announced Zelda game – Breath of the Wild – and
a new Mario game. All three products are scheduled to appear within the first six months of the machine’s life.

The firm has also been busy securing third-party support, with Sega, Square Enix, Ubisoft, Activision and Warner Bros already on-board.

Sources close to Nintendo have told MCV that the firm is determined that NX will not suffer the same slow start as either the Wii U or 3DS.


The Pokemon title is curious. I do not understand Pokemon and do not pretend to do so. However, Nintendo is in a good position to cultivate the Pokemon Go phenomenon into people buying NX for Pokemon.

Zelda BoW will be a Present game.

Mario is a question mark. It is either Present or Future.

I am ignoring the third party games because they aren’t going to release shit. There has never been a case where third party games are responsible for moving Nintendo hardware… especially in the first couple of years.

Where is Pikmin 4? Isn’t that done too? Maybe that is in the pipeline. Pikmin 4 is not a good ‘launch title’. Mario is good. Zelda is good. But Pikmin?

The big question is the NX Future games and Past games. We know there will be a new Mario Kart and such. But I want to know about the NEW IPs. I want to know about the next Wii Sports. I want to know about the Past games. Are these going to be ports like Smash 4 and Splatoon? What is going on with the Virtual Console?

I’ll go into the launch library some more, but you need to consider is that Games Perform Jobs. The reason why we buy different games is because we want them to perform different jobs.

Zelda is the meaty game you play solo for hours on end for the RPG/Adventure itch.

Mario is a light hearted game you play for the Adventure itch.

Metroid is the definitive Nintendo hardcore game for experienced gamers.

But where is the MULTIPLAYER game?

We still do not know much about NX’s software line-up, but it seems there are huge holes. Where are the sports games? Where are the RPGs?

Nintendo needs to realize that people do not buy Nintendo consoles anymore because they know the library will have big holes (such as no RPGs). Nintendo cannot make every game genre. But they need to provide a wide variety of jobs for the software to do. 3d Mario World didn’t sell Wii Us, so why would this Mario do the same?




Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 26, 2016

Was the NX in plain sight with Zelda BoW?


How strange it is that Link runs around with a handheld tablet, but the Wii U Gamepad isn’t utilized!!!

Link’s tablet is the NX. I expect a launch edition NX to look exactly like that.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 26, 2016

Did Eurogamer reveal the NX? Cartridges! Hybrid! Oh my!

First, we need our revolution song. We can’t talk about the NX without it as our background.

Second, here is the Eurogamer link.



Let us look at it in a shallow business way.

Not too long ago, I confidently declared the NX would not have backwards compatibility (meaning hardware of prior systems). I could say that because I knew why backwards compatibility was put in the first place. Game God Iwata said, “The transition phase is the most dangerous part of the console cycle. Backward compatibility helps remove that risk,” he never said that, but I am paraphrasing. When he said that, the PlayStation 2 had backward compatibility and performed extremely well in the transition part. Gameboy line always had backward compatibility, and it was never toppled in the market. DS has backward compatibility and did very well. Wii had backward compatibility and did very well too. Even the Sega Genesis had backward compatibility. All the signs and logic showed backward compatibility was something the market wanted. The Internet was very vocal about backwards compatibility.

But the PS4 doesn’t have backwards compatibility, and it does fine. Xbox One has backwards compatibility via software and no one cares. The truth is that backwards compatibility can be done ‘good enough’ using digital downloads. In other words, if Nintendo wanted to put a hit game from the prior system onto the new one, they can just re-release it digitally.

Or they can do a ‘remake’ of it. Why have backwards compatibility when people buy Wind Waker HD, Twilight Princess HD, and other games released again?

The big problem Nintendo was facing, aside from rising development costs and needs for handheld and home console, was the global market was being split on the two. In Japan, handhelds were the craze. In the West, home consoles still dominated. According to Game God Iwata, Iwata believed Japan was several years ahead the trend. In other words, if I can seance Iwata’s thoughts into today, he would think that the future trend is handheld, not home console not just for Japan but for the entire world. Japan’s present is the world’s future. Nintendo does not see itself as abandoning the home console. The market has already abandoned the home console, Nintendo is just going to where the future market is. Since Microsoft cannot make a handheld, they will be entirely eliminated from the console market (Microsoft is already making moves to get out of the Xbox). Sony will find it harder and harder to compete as the home console market closes up (as Sony reveals they cannot make a handheld as the PSP and Vita failures show).

The Wii U seemed to be in many ways an attempt to solve the handheld and home console divide… which utterly failed. Did people stick to handhelds and not to home consoles in Japan because home consoles hogged the TV? Wii U tried to fix this. But the problem wasn’t the symptoms but the ground being removed from the home console’s feet.

The Home Console is to Handheld Console today as the Arcade was to the Home Console thirty years ago. The arcades came out first. They were giant. They had to be. As technology improved, the arcade hits found their way into a smaller package of the home console. PONG. Space Invaders. Donkey Kong. You name it. With the handheld, we are seeing a similar migration of home console hits move over. Nintendo putting Donkey Kong Country Returns and Hyrule Warriors on the 3DS told me where this was going.

Nintendo is Japan orientated. Japan is handheld focused. Therefore, Nintendo will be handheld focused. Handheld is the future in large part due to that is where the technology revolution is occurring. The gap between handheld and home console is rapidly diminishing.

Another big issue is while people kept talking about the Wii U successor, there was not much talk of the 3DS successor which needed to come out first. Nintendo is very good about obeying the console generations and putting out new hardware. 3DS came out in 2011. Consoles must be changed in five or six years. We could be confident about cartridges being in the NX because cartridges would still be used for handhelds.

NX is an inverted Wii U. While the Wii U is a home console that you can play like a handheld, NX is a handheld that can play like a home console.

The breakaway controller parts are… odd. I find the button use of Nintendo handhelds to be all wrong and to be severely crampy (and to be significantly smaller than the original Gameboy or early NES/SNES controllers) as if they were designed for asian hands. If this NX speculation is true, I welcome HAVING CONTROL over the input scheme and buttons. Nintendo hasn’t given us that since the Wii and the NES. Every other home console and handheld has forced us to use Nintendo’s crappy controller layouts.

Nintendo thinks way ahead. Nintendo is not going handheld because ‘it cannot compete with Sony’. The market is moving handheld only. It is Sony who cannot compete with Nintendo in the handheld space (two failed handhelds). Generation 10 or 11 could be seeing the PlayStation becoming mobile too. Generation 12 would then be a Nintendo Monopoly of the console space.

The smartphones/tablets would be to the NX as PCs are to the homeconsoles today. Iwata agreed with this line of thinking BTW as well.

Dos Equis Gifs to the World score dos equis the most interesting man

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 25, 2016

Hardcore vs Lost Souls

Since the Game Industry and gamers lack the patience to really dig into the business strategies and reactions of Generation 7 (the Wii Era), they have reduced everything down to a binary: casual or hardcore. Now, when making games, this binary is prominent in their minds. It was completely absent when they made the classic games we all love.

In Starcraft 2, the game was intentionally sped up to make ‘E-sports’ more interesting. Starcraft 2 became ‘APM Wars’ (actions per minute). The game died.

So the same director does the spin-off of Heroes of the Storm. The game was designed to be ‘simpler’ and ‘easier’ with shorter games, no items, no last hitting, and shared experience. Some of this worked such as shorter games and no last hitting. But the shared experience meant bad players would not realize they were bad. So the good players would tell them in the game that they were bad. Blizzard’s respond? Silence those players (which prevents them from playing ranked). While SC 2 had the exodus of the non esports players, HOTS has the exodus of the esports players. HOTS is played now by mostly older people and bloated men with families.

Now we have absurd things like Metroid Federation Force thinking shooting multiplayer is too ‘hardcore’ so they base it all around shooting a giant ball instead. Ridiculous!

The DS and Wii was not an ‘attack’ on the hardcore gaming if we define hardcore gaming as ‘skilled challenging gameplay’. Wii Sports and Wii Fit are not easy games to play, they simply required new gameplay skills that experienced gamers hadn’t utilized yet. In Iwata’s words, those games ‘put everyone at the same starting line’. Even Nintendo developers seem to misunderstand the success such as trying to ‘de-teeth’ the challenge from games to make them less hardcore and ‘casual friendly’, whatever that means.

There must be a differentiation between hardcore (challenging gameplay) and lost souls. What are lost souls? It is a term I am making up because we have no other term for it. I credit Yamauchi for first noticing it.

There are many people in the industry that know nothing about games. In particular, a large American company is trying to do engulf software houses with money, but I don’t believe that will go well. It looks like they’ll sell their game system next year, but we’ll see the answer to that the following year.

Yamauchi is referring to the Xbox Division, but I bolded the first line. Yamauchi has done more to define the game console business than anyone I can think of, aside from Nolan Bushnell. ‘Many people in the industry know nothing about games’. Just because you are a ‘gamer’ or in the ‘game industry’ doesn’t mean you know shit. This is the message from Yamauchi.

I have been saying this for some time, but customers are not interested in grand games with higher-quality graphics and sound and epic stories. Only people who do not know the videogame business would advocate the release of next-generation machines when people are not interested in cutting-edge technologies.

Yamauchi said this at the beginning of Generation 7. Idiots in the game industry think this is a ‘stupid thing to say’. But the DS and Wii, much less hardware capable than their competitors, came out ahead. The Gameboy easily beat out color competitors. Read Yamauchi’s quote again and think of Pokemon Go. Does Pokemon Go feature cutting edge technologies? Maps is not a new technology. No one is playing Pokemon Go for its graphics and sound.

[People who play RPGs are] “depressed gamers who like to sit alone in their dark rooms and play slow games.”

This quote is what I want to highlight. Yamauchi recognized these ‘lost souls’ even then.

Many so-called ‘hardcore’ gamers are actually ‘lost souls’. These ‘lost souls’ live in a fantasy world. It is these ‘lost souls’ who generate the stigma against gaming as outsiders see losers attracted to gaming.

A ‘lost soul’ is a broken person. A ‘lost soul’ is someone who plays video games to escape real life pain.

The best example is World of Warcraft. In World of Warcraft, you have quests and a clear line of achievement. Real life does not provide that clear line. Lost souls play video games not as gamers but as a type of therapy.

Back in the NES days, there were games designed to be ‘hard’ such as Metroid. Metroid’s commercial had the NES Advantage to show that this was meant for an experienced gamer. However, NES lacks ‘lost souls’ games. There are little to no comfort games on the NES. The Wii also lacks those ‘lost soul’ games. No one played Wii Sports to get away from people. To the contrary, the played it to be with people.

When I dig into the biographies of popular streamers, reviewers, and even game developers, I see many ‘Lost Souls’. They turn their time to gaming because of a broken life. Many gamers do not play because of the game, they play because of the therapy.

Game communities are made up by gamers. Remove the ‘bad gamers’, and the communities will thrive. So how do we create ‘good game communities’? Games such as the Blizzard games are great. What is terrible are the gamers that play them. WoW players make WoW a terrible a game. HOTS is a great game if it were not for the terrible players.

When you look at console gaming, console gaming was better before the Internet. Multiplayer meant local multiplayer. You played with friends, with real life attachments. With PC gaming, PC multiplayer was better before broadband, was better before Windows. Broken people could not get into the medium then.

In order for gaming to grow, it must become exclusionary to Lost Souls. Lost Souls need to get a job and get their life in order, not look for illusion of achievement and friendship through a virtual electronic experience. How to make it exclusionary to Lost Souls? Reduce the graphics and sound and other ‘virtual’ inducing effects and focus on the gameplay.

Wii and DS didn’t succeed because they attracted more ‘Lost Souls’, they succeeded because they excluded them. Those ‘Lost Souls’ found it hard to exist on the DS so they moved to PSP. The ‘Lost Souls’ on the home console found it hard to exist on the Wii so they moved to the Xbox 360 or PS3. However, the lack of ‘Lost Souls’ triggered market expansion… these the players who bolt when Lost Souls gamers appear. These type of gamers will play games like Pac-Man or Tetris, but they will not play ‘illusion of achievement’ type games (slow RPG type games which most games are today).


Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 25, 2016

Why is Metroid Federation Force even being made?

Any close observer of Nintendo will quickly notice how much the company blatantly lies. The question has always been ‘why the lies’? Malstrom’s interpretation: arrogance and ego. In fact, I place the enormity of the blame of the 3DS and Wii U disaster of arrogance and ego. It is the arrogance of Nintendo developers to think they could make ‘3d’ to work when they never have been able to do so. Wii U is nothing more than a HD Gamecube + Connectivity with some 2d platformers and the Wii branding. Gamers can smell the arrogance.

The above video is an attempt to ‘perfume’. Seriously, nothing in the above video is impressive. The shooter looks average at best. Why Next Level Games was told to make this shit, no one knows.

The big, big lie is Tanabe saying Nintendo wanted to attempt to make a first person shooter on a handheld. WTF was Metroid Prime Hunters? It was even included as a demo with launch DS systems. Metroid Prime Hunters NAILED the Metroid aesthetic and delivered crisp, excellent Quake 3 type gameplay. Hunters has remained popular in legacy as it tends to disappear fast in used stores. My problem with Hunters is hand cramps… the same problem I have with most DS games.

Above: This is ten years old and still is more Metroid than anything Sakamoto or Nintendo has put out. Damn impressive especially concerning the DS hardware.

Hunters at least came up with additional characters. Nintendo lacks that creativity today.

Listening to Tanabe say that the art style was chosen due to technical issues and that they wanted to try to make a handheld shooter is so insulting. Metroid Prime Hunters was the handheld shooter. It faced much more difficult technical issues than the 3DS hardware has. No. I do not believe this bullshit. There is another reason.

I don’t think Nintendo liked Hunters. Hunters was too ‘hardcore’ (oh, that word), it was too masculine, too much testosterone. Federation Force is so effeminate that multiplayer is nothing more than shooting a giant ball. Whose balls are they shooting? Metroid’s balls.

One question I always had is why is Nintendo OBSESSED with making a handheld shooter? Why not be obsessed with making a HOME CONSOLE shooter first? A home console shooter would certainly help Nintendo out, as Goldeneye proved. So why does Nintendo take the action it does? The only conclusion I can take form it is arrogance and cultural bias.

I’m hoping Federation Force is a leftover from Generation 8 Nintendo just as that Gamecube pinball game or Chibi-robo was for the Gamecube in the latter stages of Generation 6. What a piece of shit Federation Force is. And fuck you Nintendo for fucking over Metroid.

Fuck you, Tanabe.

Fuck you, Sakamoto.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 22, 2016

The Collapse of Civilization

Pokemon Go is a disease. Look at this! The stigma against it will be sharp and swift.

Above: Malstrom appears at 2:33 (a Malstrom, not THE Malstrom) who informs that this is, in fact, the End of the World. Notice the guy who appears afterward who doesn’t shower and only eats hotdogs. No testosterone. Completely neutered. Women will be repulsed by him. 

Dos Equis Gifs to the World what confused stunned dos equis

Pokemon Go? Hell no!

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 21, 2016

Now You’re Playing With Power!


Dos Equis Gifs to the World lol laughing laugh haha




It will sell more than the Wii U!!!

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 20, 2016

Email: Aonuma on Zelda

I love this article that was just posted.  Miyamoto told Aonuma “you don’t know the mold” of Zelda, which absolutely true, and which explained why Aonuma was having trouble directing the development team of the new game.  Also, Aonuma got negative feedback from Skyward Sword, and realized that turning everything (even combat) into puzzles wasn’t a smart idea.


I love how he keeps acting like everyone wants his puzzles. We don’t. The change in the combat system was also badly needed. Although we haven’t seen any of the story elements, Zelda BoW “WOW!” isn’t *lame* yet like every Zelda game seems to be.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 19, 2016

Email: The NES Classic Edition

Most likely, these are excess Wii Mini systems in a new case with the
disc drive removed. Nintendo has said both that no more games beyond
the 30 included can be added and that there’s no cartridge slot.

Since these are Wii Virtual Console versions of the games, expect the
same slight input lag and dark colors that they have.

As for the 30 games themselves, it’s a great selection but (in my
opinion) some of them should have been removed and replaced. I’d
personally remove:

– Double Dragon II: The Revenge
– Ice Climber
– StarTropics
– Super C
– Tecmo Bowl

And replace them with:

– Contra (the first game is much more well known, and better received)
– Double Dragon (ditto)
– Life Force
– Mega Man 3
– Tecmo Super Bowl (much better than the first game)


I doubt any of these theories of what the Mini is made out of will remain true. It’s a new product so it likely uses new parts.

Why replace any? ADD. “Nintendo is an AND company,” Reggie used to say. Instead of Mini 2, have a Mini Deluxe or Mini Plus and put in FORTY games or FIFTY NES games. The NES library is so rich that it can easily provide them.

In addition to those thirty, I would add non-sequels first (Life Force isn’t a real sequel):

Life Force
Blaster Master
Dragon Warrior 3
River City Ransom
Tetris (Nintendo can find a way)
Adventures of Lolo 3
R. C. Pro-Am 2
Duck Tales (Capcom can find a way)

Want more? OK.

Marble Madness
Kung Fu
Vice Project Doom
Maniac Mansion
Lode Runner
Bionic Commando
Rescue Rangers (Capcom can find a way)

Want more?

Blades of Steel
Metal Gear
Baseball Stars
Adventure Island II
Micro Machines (licensing issue)
Metal Storm
Rad Racer
Wizards and Warriors
Gargoyle’s Quest II

You need more, reader? Very well:

Double Dragon
Mega Man 3
Ninja Gaiden II
Demon Sword
Journey to Silus
Power Blade
The Guardian Legend
Little Samson

And how can I forget Paperboy????

The NES Mini commercial better have the house rocket up into space just like the original!!!


Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 15, 2016

Email: The NES game missing the most…

Tetris IP is controlled by The Tetris Company and they have bizarre rules about any new releases of Tetris. Tetris must allow spinning the blocks even once they land or something. It is dumb.
Without Tetris, I doubt Nintendo would ever make a Gameboy Retro system.

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