Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 17, 2017

Email: Gamers are asking: What’s the point of consoles?

You said it on your blog first, Master Malstrom. The HD Twins are just dumbed down PCs. Now the gaming community is becoming aware of this:

I see the point of consoles. The style of console that allows for arcadey action with dedicated hardware to support new playstyles. But then again, the recent innovations in such dedicated hardware have been deadends (motion, 3D, touch). Classic styled console controls are supported on the PC. So even that seems less of an appeal. Not to mention Nintendo’s dwindling list of genuinely good arcadey games.

The appeal of the HD Twins to me is only their exclusives. Microsoft has said their exclusives will also be on PC, so there is zero appeal to the XBox line anymore. Sony’s exclusives are such a small, unappealing list to me. I would love to own the Crash Bandicoot remake, but I am satisfied with the original versions and playing the remake at a friend’s house. Rumor has it that game might also make it to PC at somepoint too.

The other aspects of consoles are their accessibility, ease of use, and cheaper price. One of the main reasons people are abandoning consoles is that they are becoming unwieldy to use, constantly requiring long updates to software, and are more expensive to keep up to date than PCs that run better. PCs are far more user friendly than they once were, and they have the added benefit of being useful for a lot more than gaming.

Why should I spend $500 every 3-5 years when I could spend $1000 once for a PC with better graphics that’ll last me a few generations?

If Sony exits alongside Microsoft, Nintendo will become known as the portable console company, and PC will reign in its own share of the market. The competition would then be based entirely around game software, not console hardware.


The PC vs. Console ‘argument’ was ten years ago. It is obsolete today. It is as obsolete as arguing Sega vs. Nintendo in 2007 (and some people still were doing it).

What people should be focusing on is how the relationship between game and hardware has reversed. The hardware (console or PC) used to be the platform. Games would be designed to run on that hardware. Soon, it will be the game that is the platform and hardware will be designed to run on that game.

Game development is exceeding console development. The inevitable will occur.

“There are lots of last gen ports going on to these new consoles.” It is an indicator.

“Look at how Nintendo and Microsoft users can both play Rocket League and Minecraft with each other! The hardware both uses the same online servers!” This is the equivalent to PONG in what the new game platforms will be. You have no idea what has begun here. The game will be the platform.

We buy hardware to get to the games. Soon, we may very well buy games to get to the hardware. (ex: “I buy Star Citizen so I can buy a gigantic souped up PC that breathes fire!). Cross-platform will evolve to Game-As-Platform.

I was reading your article about the NY times guy saying how men need to stop playing video games and get married to make today’s women happy and after reading everything it got me thinking about how no one talks about what’s wrong with women today. Probably because anyone who would say anything slightly negative would be raked across the coals for being “anti feminist.”
Thankfully I’m a woman who can say stuff I think some guys would like to say. I apologize that this email has 2 long parts.

First off, let’s talk about “girl culture.” What is “girl culture?” Well you see happier versions of it on TV where you see this group of women sipping wine and talking about shoes and junk. But in reality this is usually gossip about other women and what they want from their perfect guy. I always felt like an outlier of “girl culture.” I was a bit of a tomboy growing up and this is fine in elementary school when you just play on the playground and play with toys but, at least for me, when you hit the pre teen years, the girls seem to become obsessed with boys and gossip. I remember being in third grade THIRD GRADE!! And just wondering why all the girls in my class just wanted to stand around gushing over the New Kids on the Block or trying to get a tan on the play ground. I remember one of my best friends was a boy because we both liked NES games and I remember the two of us hanging out on the playground talking about our favorite NES games. My mom thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t have a “clique” of girlfriends and didn’t spend hours gossiping on the phone. I got more enjoyment out of playing video games. This continued on through my adult life. If you’re not a girl into “girl culture.” Then other women will shun you. You don’t even have to do anything. I remember a youtuber saying how nothing a man could say to a women could be worse than how treat each other and there is truth to that statement. My last job I worked before my daughter was born, I was in a small office with a four other women which I figured would be laid back and quiet soon made me miserable. The work itself was fine but two of the other women treated me like dirt the day I started. I was always friendly and pleasant, never did anything to antagonize any of them but I could just feel the resentment. My husband thinks it was because I had a college degree and they didn’t or maybe because I had my life together better than they did but this is something that you see in female circles. There are times I wish I had girlfriends but at the same time I’d rather be alone and happy with my video games than sit around and gossip with other women who’d stab me in the back the first chance they get.

I also think too many women feel that having a man means having someone to entertain you. It’s not enough for a man to work hard and take care of the family, apparently now women seem reliant on a man to entertain them because they have no interests or hobbies or friends of their own. I found the couples who are happy are the ones who actually share interests whether it’s sports or video games or movies. I remember seeing an episode of Dr. Phil where a wife was complaining that her husband went camping with his friends all the time. The husband mentioned how she didn’t like camping but also how she had no friends and no real hobbies. While Dr. Phil did suggest the husband not going out camping every single weekend, he did suggest to the wife to pursue some interests of her own. I know too many women who get married, have kids and that’s their whole life and suddenly the kids are grown and don’t know what to do with themselves because they forgot to find something to do for their own fun. I don’t have this problem in my marriage. I don’t care if my husband wants to play games for a few hours as long as everything we needed to get done is taken care of. One evening our daughter was watching cartoons and coloring, he went to play on the computer, I pulled out my Switch and played something.

Seriously if a woman is mad her man isn’t spending enough time with her then she probably doesn’t have a life of her own.

I cannot speak about all women, only local women. Men are not sentient creatures to these women. To them, men’s purpose is nothing more than to fulfil a role in a script they have written in their pretty little heads. If a man goes outside this script, the girl goes bonkers.

What is the script? Probably something out of a TV show or book. Men have to make a choice: live out her script or live out their script. My choice is to live out my script and see if anyone is compatible with my script (my script is so awesome!). But I do not think women care about compatibility as it is about a guy fulfilling her script.

When you buy a cat, you expect the cat to do certain things. The cat will purr, will sleep, and go “meow”. To them, men are just big cats. If the cat starts to do things like fly, stay awake, and go “boom!”, the owner will freak out.

I’ve noticed a similar response with employers when you start to go outside the script (such as a technician that starts to study calculus and engineering). Dammit! You are supposed to be exactly what other people think of you! Who do you think you are trying to live out life based on your own self-image and your own written script?

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 16, 2017

Email: Surprised you took down the pedo article Malstrom

Guess you wanted to take “the high road” or something huh?

Anyway don’t feel bad for putting the truth up about that Neogaf pedo scumbag.

For whatever reason freaks/criminals like this predominate our beloved gaming community/hobby what have you, probably because gamers since our inception have been seen as the ultimate outcasts and thus these lowlives view us as their natural “kin” which is a disturbing thought.

Having posted on a bazillion gaming forums over the years, I’ve long suspected most if not all of them were ruled at the top by sick fucks just like “Amir0x” ranging from pedos to faggots to trannies to other highly strange mentally ill and deranged types but the GamerGate movement really blew the lid off of things and proved it beyond a shadow of all doubt.

I even personally knew a mod on IGN for years who seemed like a normal guy until he gushed to me in PM that he was a disgusting tranny and was going to go through with the surgery to become a woman and that his girlfriend fully supported it. {{{Gag!}}}

At the time I was a jovial friendlier sort of individual who outwardly acted accepting to all which is why this mod viewed me as its friend and “shared the good news” {{Barf!}}

I may of tentatively congratulated him at the time “just to be nice” but afterwards I’m quite certain I headed for the proverbial puke bucket to let my real feelings about this be known.

Anyway obviously this email isn’t intended for your main page, its just more rather a show of support for you if and ever more gaming pedos get caught with their fingers in the proverbial “cookie jar” and you’re left wondering whether gloating about their being caught is a good thing to celebrate or not on your main page?

Well I’m here to tell you it is.


Another email:


I was too busy to read it at the time, and now I come back to read it and it’s gone. Not even Wayback Machine has it (actually, Wayback doesn’t archive any of your articles, which is disturbing… guess I need to start saving some of my favorites for posterity).


I do not want this site to be involved with people’s personal destruction. The news said he was arrested for pedophilia. I believe the court will say whether he is guilty or what. Anyway, it is not a subject I really want to talk about. (Who does?)

But there is more here than just an individual getting arrested for pedophilia. NeoGaf was one of the top five referrers to Hillary Clinton’s website. After the 2016 election, I went back and read through the Neogaf election thread to see the transformation of the arrogant ‘how bad will trump lose’ to ‘omg, this can’t be happening!’ Now that I think of it, it was another thread. One about some poll that had Trump doing slightly better than the last poll and people freaking on it. Amir0x would come on and talk about how when he met this or that senator, how this was bad because ‘we all know trump isn’t going to win’, but just one point different from this poll meant that one or two less Democrat senators would be elected which meant Hillary Clinton’s agenda would not move forward. You see, amir0x was not just a former neogaf mod. He was a politico. He had political connections.

What I suspect is going on is that the new Trump administration is more vigilant on its law enforcement than the last administration or two hence why amir0x finally went to jail. Or was it a local police that got him? Whatever.

This site is about gaming, not about political or sexual deviancy.

The emailer brings up a good point with the IGN mod being a tranny. With specialized media, what should matter is the specialization. If you go to Cat Website, you would be expecting cats. We all leave the politics at the door and enjoy the cats. But no. You start seeing Cat Page Mod ban everyone who doesn’t believe in the same politics as he does. What is going on here? Neogaf will ban you if you express a non-liberal position or if you like Trump (in non-gaming political threads). But the politics spills over into the gaming section with the issue of Gamergate and the typical feminists and all. One big reason why the youtubers have exploded is because they are not typified in that viewpoint. There is variety. Currently, it seems like every gaming youtuber who doesn’t hail a certain political viewpoint is being called on to be banned or removed from the Internet. Why?

I kinda know the answers, and so does the brilliant reader. But I’d prefer to swim in the gaming ether and not the political one.

Neogaf was rife with ‘pedobear’ jokes and memes ten years ago. And amir0x did have connections to senators. I believe his job had him as an aide in the capital or something.

amir0x was removed from being a Neogaf mod because he was caught editing people’s posts so he could win arguments with them. I kid you not! First, it is pathetic to be arguing over the Internet. Then, you have to use your mod power to ‘win’ the argument by inserting words into your opponent’s mouth? Hilarious. It is as hilarious that Amir0x thought the law wouldn’t touch him because the naked children photos he had were not ‘sexual’ in nature.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 10, 2017

Email: 3D Mario is becoming like the Aonuma Zelda games

Dear Master Malstrom,

I am very underwhelmed by Super Mario Odyssey like you and other readers are. It seems like Nintendo are changing the core fundamentals of 3D Mario to the worse. I feel like the marketing of this game is like The Emperor’s New Clothes. Nintendo keep saying how big and open the world is and it is just like Mario 64, so all the sheep gamers are now saying the same. If you actually look at the footage showed at E3, the game seems very constrained in what you actually can do. There is very little acrobatic and skills needed, which used to be the CORE of 3D Mario. Acrobatics and skilled jumps were the means for a player to play the game DIFFERENTLY and show his or hers PERSONALITY. Have you ever seen a Mario 64 speed run? They are damn fun to watch. Because the most skilled players do all these crazy things that were never meant to be done, but is possible due to game’s level design, which focuses on acrobatics. This is also why both bad and good gamers to a certain degree can play Mario 64 and have fun. The bad gamers will just do what is meant to be done, whereas the good gamers use advanced methods to get to the goals quicker.

Back to Super Mario Odyssey. In the New York City stage, there is very little skill needed to get the moons (which used to be stars). You can wall jump between two buildings, but what is the point, when you can just capture the electricity poles and go to the top of the buildings on-rails without even controlling Mario yourself. Also, the flagpoles are now used as a warping system similar to 3D Zelda. The appeal of this game is really just the funny and nostalgic references to the older games, the costumes, the captures and the “funny” NPC’s. It is all glitz and glamour, without a solid core gameplay. Sure, even I think some of aesthetic design is adorable, but you know what… it does not make it a GOOD game. They sell this game as “exploration”, but there is not really that much to explore, besides eye candy and funny references. In New York, the goal is to get some musicians together so they can play that stupid main theme song and you get a moon as a reward. This has very low replayability. The first musician stands just outside of the building. Again, the appeal of this is not HOW to get the moon, e.g. performing skilled jumps and so. It is more about SEEING the “story” of Mayor Pauline and the musicians and “explore” the beautiful 3D-graphics (which actually suck in the city, some of the textures in the backgrounds look like something from the PSX era).

Also, the Jungle/Dinosaur level. Try to rewatch the Threehouse playthrough. Almost nothing happens. The whole gimmick of the level is to look at the dumb sleeping T-rex, which we will be able to capture. And then you can change your costumes and change the tune of the level if you jump on an old ghetto blaster (yeah?) The last part of the level has some platforming, but it looks very similar to 3D Land/World, which was okay (at least “Land”), but did not set the world on fire. This is nothing like the later levels of Mario 64.

One last thing: Nintendo are bragging about each level will have 30-50 moons to collect, like it is an example of the game’s huge content. It is not. If you watch the footage of the game, the moons have become like the old star coins in 2D Mario. Sure, some of them are hidden well, but they are no longer used as rewards for overcoming a hard obstacle course of a boss. If get then if you walk around without any real urgency.

This game is not going to perform well. The only people who are truly excited are the hardcore gamers and diehard Nintendo fans. The game was voted the best game of E3 two years in a row. It says a lot, does it not?

Super Mario Odyssey wasn’t known until Switch software reveal in January 2017.

I can see the appeal of Mario 64, even though it is not for me. I despise later 3d Mario because it doesn’t even try to be 3d Mario. It is trying to ‘trick’ 2d Mario fans to liking 3d Mario. Nope! This Mario game doesn’t appeal to me on any level, not even aesthetically. Of course, on forums like the Switch reddit where posters go, “Mmmm, more Nintendo kool-aid please!”, nothing truly gets discussed. So we are stuck between Kool-Aid Forum and Hardcore Gamer Forum.

I’m taking a break from Switch, and going retro until games I like start coming out. I look forward to more RPGs. I could care less about Nintendo online plans. I bought Switch for Zelda. Mario Kart 8 has been a total dud for me personally. Game just isn’t fun or interesting.

Good games create demand. I don’t see Nintendo making those games. I see Wii U 2.0 games. Zelda was a breath of fresh air though, and it got my hopes up. I’m hoping for better third party and first party games for 2018.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 10, 2017

Email: Starfox 2 on the SNES mini needs to be unlocked

I don’t know if you are aware of this, but apparently in you want to play Starfox 2 on the SNES mini you first have to unlock it by beating the first level in the original Starfox:

This is not the end of the world nor a deal breaker, but let’s just think for a moment about this retardation: someone had to go through the extra trouble to add locking functionality to the game launcher, then make sure to lock this one game, figure out where the relevant information is in the obscure binary safe file format of the original Starfox, and finally tie it all together. WTF is the point of this? Who thought that was a good idea? Why lock the one game that people are the most excited to play for the first time?

The old saying goes “follow the money”, but I have no idea how this will in any way benefit Nintendo. It seems more like someone at Nintendo has a control complex. They are treating the customer like a kid: you don’t get your dessert until you finish your vegetables. This is a frequent occurrence with game companies, like forcing you to play through the game on “normal” first before unlocking “hard” mode. Why? Are they afraid that I’m going to have a breakdown if I accidentally pick the wrong difficulty? I really think it’s someone having a control complex, wanting to dictate to players how to play the game the Right Way(TM).

Nintendo doesn’t trust you.

Fuck the SNES Classic. Starfox 2 is not fun Best SNES games are the ones not on the SNES Classic (Chrono Trigger, Lufia 2, Final Fantasy 4/5, Live a Live, etc.)

It’s obvious that Mother 3 will be on the GBA Classic. N64 Classic may have F-Zero editor, etc.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 10, 2017

Zelda Hardmode Emails

DLC 1 is a cheap reconfig. Differing stats. But the effective differences are already there.

It’s fine.

It’s fine?

I played all the way through normal Zelda BotW and beat it on normal mode. Great game!
I believe hard mode is the much better game. It just flows much better and is way more immersive. It has exposed all the flaws in my playing style and forced me to dig deep into the battle system and use cooking more to improve. To me it seems like they designed the game on hard mode and then got freaked out, thinking it was too hard for the player, then designed easy/normal mode.

Example: when I first played the original mode, it pissed me when my weapons broke all the time. Now I understand if you cook properly, you can extend the life of your best weapons because the amount of hits needed decreases substantially. Not an issue nearly as much. The other thing I did was sneak into hyrule castle right off great plateau and kill the Stalinox for the Hylian Shield. I have not lost a single good shield as a result. The Hylian shield has been a godsend.

My fast travel has become more efficient as well. I could go on and on but it is just a better game. The enemies are tougher but you have improved as a player and it noticeable in the way you move and defend.

In short, yes completely worth it.

I highly doubt the game was originally designed for hard mode especially with all the extra enemies on lifts.

You know what DLC SHOULD be? More enemy types. They can be harder new enemy types too.

Hard Mode really should be a Second Quest where all the shit is changed up including the Overworld. But no, we have Lazy Nintendo here. If today’s Nintendo did Zelda 1, the Second Quest would just be more enemies and have their stats beefed up. Lame.

Use sure about this Master Malstrom?

I left the cave at the beginning, stole the Apple from King Rhoam and a tree branch. Rare around the corner and there were three black moblins waiting for me with decent weaponry. I ran through the temple of time to activate the first tower and was shot at by moblins on flying rafts. I tried to run to the log cabin for a quick bout of peace to fix myself up… There was a Lynel in the field that saw me, ran me down and made me respawn in a path between a moblin fortress and the Lynel.

I eventually made it off of the plateu and headed to the Rito first. Either I got worse or to timing with Guardians changes after the first deflection now. Every enemy was not only bumped up one level, but there are usually more of them and the giant enemies have had their locations changed. I have weapons like the Great Frostblade, bows that can shoot three arrows at once, etc. It still ain’t easy. I have Perfect Guard and Perfect Dodge mastered, I’m still having trouble. The combination of removing all the goomba level enemies, pairing them up 2-5 at a time and allowing their health to regenerate while not improving drops has definitely made the game more challenging. This is probably what the game should have been the first time around. If it was, I would have had one hell of a time trying to learn how to play and more people would be complaining about difficulty.

I’m also taking my original approach of exploring slowly. Since I know what is in the world, I know which challenges I will tackle when I’m ready for them. Not only that, but I’ve been discovering a lot of things that I missed the first time around since I’m not focused on completing all of the towers and shrines. Ironically, I’ve run into a lot of new shrines and have found entire stables that I missed the first time around. Most of my map is still untouched, but I have 29 shrines and three fairies so far. I haven’t upgraded the slate yet and I don’t have a house yet. I don’t have a complete set of any armor either.

It’s fun again. I’m hoping that the Ballad of the Champions will essentially be Second Quest.

Ballad of the Champions will be Aonuma Zelda. Mark. My. Words. Aonuma so loves himself that he squeals, “Marvelous!” and goes, “Look at all my NPC stories and PUZZLES. Look at my PUZZLES. Aren’t they SO FINE!? Ooohhh!” Imagine if Sakamoto made the Metroid game we wanted (will never happen, but this is fantasy), he would immediately make DLC which would be Metroid: Other M storytelling. These Nintendo guys are so full of themselves and think their ‘creativity’ is so great, they want to ram it down your throat.



Master Malstrom,

Master is not just your title anymore, it is the new mode in BoW “Wow!” Okay… I got my chuckles out of the way.

My opinion was that the “Normal” mode was a bit too easy. There was a ton to explore, and after learning about Master mode being released I decided to beat the game. I finished Normal mode in about fifty five hours, and honestly, feel like I saw maybe ten to fifteen percent of the game. While emergent things that happened were certainly memorable, I cannot say that much of the content itself was memorable. I did twenty eight shrines, all the divine beasts, and picked up a plethora of armor, but there wasn’t much that I really felt like I needed. Heck, I never even found the guy to trade the seeds to in order to upgrade my item capacity. I even skipped figuring out cooking/elixirs for the most part, it just wasn’t vital to my quest.

Master mode on the other hand is a completely different beast. Right from the get go you are struggling to make any progress. This is due to three critical changes. First, your weapons degrade far more quickly, so every strike counts, and this requires you to sometimes source weapons from your combatants. Second, every monster is upgraded to the next highest monster type, the base enemies take a licking, and don’t really provide weapons suitable enough to fight them with. Third, monsters regenerate, which means you need to commit to your strategy, but also need to know when to cut your losses.

What this means to the game is, you’ll be experimenting a lot more, and you really need to use all of the game’s systems together more in order to give yourself any survival advantage possible, especially in the early game. I am by no means an expert, but I have found that you really need to better understand the mechanics of the game and weigh your pro/con options for every encounter.

At about hour three or four the game loosens up because you’ve got more access to the world and more options to upgrade Link. I think I more or less finished out the starter area on my first play through in Normal, but in Master mode there are still some areas I am wary about going to.

Much more of the game is memorable in this play through, and I don’t think it is just because it is so fresh in my memory. Armor wasn’t a big deal for me before, but this play through I absolutely sought out the plate mail and have finally gotten all the parts for the first upgrade. I am by no means indestructible, but this turns a lot of fights that required technical perfection into possible, with the right weapons and stat upgrades. I am not actively farming ingredients, but I will tell you I am always happy to see things that give a defense bonus or an attack bonus.

Right now I am about twelve hours in, which I think is a good point to assess the mode. To me, it feels like what the game ought to have been on launch, it feels like classic NES hard. It is not unfair, it just demands your attention to detail, putting things together for yourself, and becoming a better player. It is still the ‘play your own way’ format, which is great for players who want to create their own difficulty, as there is nothing stopping you from running off to defeat Ganon out of the gate.

I cannot play Hard Mode for three reasons.

One, I have no time. I work seven days a week now.

Two, the constant loading screens in Zelda BoW “Wow!” make me not want to play along with the terrible, terrible NPCs. Zelda BoW “Wow!” did many things right, but it failed hard on the NPCs. The NPCs are terribly designed.

Three, I have other games to play.

Normal mode on Zelda BoW “Wow!” was ‘this game is great’ to ‘ this game is still cool’ to ‘ this game is too easy’. I expect the same curve to exist in Hard Mode but at a further state ultimately creating the same exact problem all over again.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 10, 2017

Email: women, marriage…

Your last post about video games and woman is priceless. Hahahahahahahahah! Look, I am a married man, but I could not agree anymore with this post. I say this not because I am an unhappy bitter married man, it honestly has nothing to do with that. I say this because I was extremely picky when I chose my woman.

“Why is he saying my woman?” Because I made her my woman. My woman is 9 years younger than me (no, I am not a pedophile, hahahahahahahahah) and I got her straight out of her parents’ arms. She is a woman with strong religious ( christian) and family values and she was a virgin.

For anyone who is considering being part of such institution: be extremely picky!

Video games have been condemned for creating:

Violence (murder, shootings, etc.)

Sloth (laziness)




And so on. But now video games are causing men to not wed the women!!! Somehow, the woman has no fault! Explosion of fatness, single mummery, debt, androgyny, and mendacity have nothing to do with this. No. Video games came out and BAM! Women had no chance.

Of course, women make up the majority of gamers. How does this fit the narrative? “Malstrom, Malstrom,” says the Pajama Boy, “you must understand that women are superior in all things and can easily play video games all the time and not have it impact their life. Men, being weak and inferior in all things, cannot.” The women are just always magical, right?

There is so much anger about men being happy and content. Why? It implies someone else is NOT happy and is in discontent. If it is not men, who is it, dear reader?

Oh, but I only follow the laws of the 8-bit gamers: goombas will not stomp themselves and the vic-viper will not go on auto-pilot. Play away, boys, play away.

Image result for goomba

Above: It will not stomp itself.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 9, 2017

Is Zelda: BoW “Wow!” hard mode worth it?

You guys are playing it. Is it worth it? How is it?

Posted by: seanmalstrom | July 9, 2017

Men are choosing video games over women, oh no!

Take a look at this article by Kyle Smith: We’re losing a whole generation of young men to video games.

Remember when we lost generations of young men to TV? To music? To books?

We DID lose generations of young men to World War 1, World War 2, Vietnam War, Iraq Wars, etc. But that is being literal, you know, reality based. As a columnist for the NY Post, Kyle Smith only has to manufacture words stringed in sentences hung about in paragraphs. Unlike an engineer or entrepreneur, who do have to abide by reality, his words do not have to do so.

The problem with the concept of ‘losing young men to video games’ is that there is a kernel of truth in it. These gentlemen are called the Hardcore Gamers. The Hardcore Gamer believes digital achievement is the same as real life achievement. We know who these people are, and we know how the Game Industry suckers them in.

But this is not who Kyle Smith is talking about. Here is the proof:

Women usually don’t go for men who are less successful than they are, so gaming is going to cause a surge in dissatisfaction among members of both sexes. Unemployed, or underemployed, men residing at Casa de la Mama whose major life skill involves pretend shoot-em-ups are not going to impress many ladies. Accomplished women are going to discover the competition for male peers even tougher than it is today, when there are about three women for every two men enrolled in college.

Poor young men! They do not know what is in their best self interest! Good thing we have NY Post columnist Kyle Smith to tell them what is in their best self interest.

“Accomplished women…” hahahahaha. You mean old women in massive college debt looking for a sugar daddy.



Happiness is not to be confused with fleeting pleasures delivered by artificial, drug-like stimulants.

This would be ‘love’.

Genuine life satisfaction is closely linked to the feelings of productivity we derive from doing jobs well and to the security of enduring close relationships, especially marriage.

Ny Post Columnist Kyle Smith is telling you gamers about how to achieve true life satisfaction: stop playing video games and marry up that used up fat woman with useless college degrees. Let us all give praise to Kyle Smith for informing us on how to obtain ‘true life satisfaction’.

Gamer zombies risk losing touch with both the world of work and with the potential for real human relationships. The parents and friends of these young men are doing them no favors by thinking, “I never see him anymore but he seems happy.”

He calls on parents and friends to go after gamers to stop them from being ‘happy’.

I read other columns by Kyle Smith. and he seems to be off in many of them.

In the book, “Game Over”, there was a story about how a man called the Nintendo Hotline for advice for his fiance. The fiance told him that he played Zelda too much. He either had to choose her or Zelda. The counselor told him to put down the game.

I made the other choice. I chose Zelda. And since then, I have had a blissful life full of video games. Married men hate my guts and look on me with envy. Even as recently as Zelda: Breath of the Wild, a girlfriend told me, “Choose me or choose Zelda.” Okay! You’re gone! See how easy that is?

Video games used to be under assault for ‘violence programming of children’. This is gone. Now video games are going to be under assault for ‘making men happy and distracting them from not giving money to shitty women’. Mark. My. Words.

“Malstrom! Malstrom!” cries the reader. “What you say is preposterous. To think that a medium would be attacked for this? Come! Come! Use some sense!”

I use all the sense is possible, dear reader. Tell me, oh salient reader, what is the subject matter of nearly every music song?


And in movies and TV shows, do you not always see ‘romance’ highlighted as what the material and drama revolves around?

“I cannot disagree with that.”

And even shows like Star Trek: The Next Generation started off very cerebral until it became about ‘relationships’.

“You bring up an uncomfortable memory.”

Above: Star Trek became a relationship show, likely, deliberately so. And how does Whoopi Goldberg end up appear as a ‘wise sage’ out of nowhere? “Malstrom, relax,” says the reader watching the clip. “That is just stuff in an episode.” It’s the series FINALE… and they are obsessed over ‘relationships’. “Please join us for Poker.” GAACCKK!

Video games are not about romance. In other words, video games cannot be turned into ‘men, give all your money to women’ propaganda like movies, TV, and music can. Video games cannot program men about ‘LOVE’.

Expect pressure for the Game Industry to adopt ‘LOVE’ programming. When this discussion breaks out, bring up the greatest romance video game in history: Ms. Pac-Man.

Above: If blockbuster hit games about ‘love’ such as Ms. Pac-Man, Frogger (hopping on the female frogs), Donkey Kong, Super Mario Brothers, and Legend of Zelda (rescuing the princess) do not turn men to marriage, then maybe it isn’t men who need to man up.

Posted by: seanmalstrom | June 29, 2017

Email: Snes Classic

In regards to why they are making it. Continuing the idea that these minis are for marketing, perhaps after the SNES is discontinued they will release the new online system with an online virtual console catalogue. The NES mini was discontinued right as Switch came out presumably to get people thinking about Nintendo and eager to pick something up, continuing the trend and using it to flog their shitty online makes sense to me. Especially as a Netflixesque service is exactly what they want, Nintendo seem to hate the idea of people buying a game and owning it for life, even when it’s no skin off there back. While people will complain about a £3 “upgrad fee” to play a digital game on another console, the media library is already widely accepted and would most likely be accepted well.

That’s my thoughts.

My thoughts are somewhat similar.

Assume the new Nintendo online service has a system where you can buy a digital game and always keep it OR a Netflix-esque streaming type service where you get these games as part of the service though never own them.

There is no Virtual Console for NES/SNES now since that would confuse the customer. Nintendo is CANNIBALIZING the “legacy content” as cheap hamburger software squeezed out for the online service.

As for the NES/SNES Classic? It is a cashgrab before the service is put into place. Apparently, once the service is in place, the NES/SNES classic may be unable to be something Nintendo could sell (i.e. as if Netflix was selling discs).

In other words, this may be the last, very last, time to officially buy these games without them being tied to an online ‘service’.

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