Wii News Story Generator

Welcome to Wii News Story Generator. May I have your name, please?

>LAZY JOURNALIST

Hi there, Lazy Journalist! Simply choose the single option you want and your story will be generated for you. No research or reporting involved!

Let us begin.

Your editor assigned you to write a story about Wii Fit. What do you do?

A) Contact a representative of Nintendo. See if you can obtain any sales information and how customers are using the device in their lives.

B) Send a message to a known game industry analyst and ask their opinion or insight onto why Wii Fit is selling so well and what it means for the future of the industry.

C) Ask Wii players about their Wii Fit playing habits on the street and store employees who sell Wii Fit directly to the customers. Attempt to catch an interview with a customer who just bought Wii Fit.

D) Contact editors of a hardcore gaming website and ask their opinions about a product they loathe.

> D) Contact editors of a hardcore gaming website and ask their opinions about a product they loathe.

You have chosen option D. So you call or email Kotaku and ask the editors their opinions about Wii Fit, which they despise. Do you…

A) Seek the Kotaku editors to explain Nintendo’s strategy and general market movement to mass market video-games this generation?

B) Ask Kotaku editors to give out anecdotal evidence which could have been obtained by any other source.

C) Demand Kotaku tell you the sales numbers in each territory.

D) Have Kotaku explain the appeal Wii Fit has since it attacks the image of sedentary gamer.

> B) Ask Kotaku editors to give out anecdotal evidence which could have been obtained by any other source.

You have selected option B. The Kotaku editors explain Wii Fit isn’t really successful. No one plays the thing. The only reason why it sells, according to Kotaku editors, is because of slick marketing.

You have to continue the story. What is your next step?

A) Accept Kotaku editors’ opinions as authoritative facts.

B) Ask a game analyst or two for their insight into the game industry.

C) Contact a Nintendo representative for the company perspective.

D) Interview Wii Fit sellers and customers directly.

> A) Accept Kotaku editors’ opinions as authoritative facts.

You have selected option A. After you accept the Kotaku editors’ opinions as authoritative facts, do you…

A) Talk to real customers who have bought Wii Fit with their own money.

B) Contact Nintendo demanding why they are marketing a game no one plays according to the brilliant minds at Kotaku.

C) Send a message to game analysts and game developers and see what they have to say about the situation.

You have chosen option B.

>B) Contact Nintendo demanding why they are marketing a game no one plays according to the brilliant minds at Kotaku.

Nintendo declines to respond! But you need a Nintendo quote in there. Looks like you are going through the archives. What quote do you use?

A) Miyamoto’s quote that Wii Fit idea was designed around the original Wii concept

B) Iwata’s E3 2008 joke about how many ‘bathroom scales’ Nintendo sold.

C) NOA President Fils-Aime, annoyed that the scale showed him overweight at E3 2007, declare that muscle weighs more than fat.

D) Miyamoto’s comment that Wii Fit is intended to more broaden the video-game audience than to be a weight loss device. Abruptly, have yourself begin editorializing about Nintendo’s sinister marketing.

> D) Miyamoto’s comment that Wii Fit is intended to more broaden the video-game audience than to be a weight loss device. Abruptly, have yourself begin editorializing about Nintendo’s sinister marketing.

You have chosen option D. Now it is time for another source to complete the story.

You…

A) Get a fitness trainer’s opinion about the merits of Wii Fit

B) Talk about a study, completely unconnected to Wii Fit’s effectiveness, measuring obesity in Americans.

C) Contact Joystiq or GoNintendo to have another website editor give another opinion.

D) Get a quote from someone in the exercise equipment business as to the number of home fitness equipment that becomes abandoned as a control group to compare to Wii Fit.

You have selected option B.

> B) Talk about a study, completely unconnected to Wii Fit’s effectiveness, measuring obesity in Americans.

Yay! We are almost done with your story. Tell me, what should be the headline?

A) Wii Fit is Still A Hit

B) Nintendo Wii Lightning Strikes Twice With Wii Fit

C) Wii Fit Changes How the Public Perceives Video-Games

D) The Truth About Wii Fit and Weight Loss

> D) The Truth About Wii Fit and Weight Loss

You chose option D.

Congratulations! The Wii News Story Generator has created your story! Enjoy!