Because they couldn’t freaking do a normal press conference. It is so artificial without hearing any applause or spontaneity.
And Iwata has no business doing the E3 Direct as he isn’t a natural English speaker. One of the reasons why Reggie Fils-Aime was hired, and why he was the ‘master of ceremonies’ at the E3 events was because he was a natural English speaker. If a company wants my money, why do they think they will get it by putting forth someone who speaks jilted English. Why is Iwata even up there in the first place? There is absolutely no business reason for him to play the jester. The company president has better things to do. Unless you are someone with very good speaking skills (such as Steve Jobs) the company president should be doing something more productive. Let someone who speaks natural English actually give the presentation. I’d rather have voice over English on a Japanese broadcast than listen to jilted English.
I have not seen the forums or emails. I am viewing the Nintendo Direct and posting my thoughts directly without any influence from anyone else. These are my raw reactions.
Starting with the 3DS…
Pokemon X/Y
OK if you like Pokemon I guess. I never did. Meh.
Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
Has B-team written all over it. Why on earth would I want to pay $40 for this crap let alone buy the 3DS hardware to play this? Why would I care to play a 16-bit-ish game in the year 2013? All it shows is that Nintendo has no imagination and no ambition. The Link-as-painting-mechanic still looks terrible.
Seriously, why should I buy this game? Why should anyone buy the game? Why don’t I just play a ROM hack and be done with it? What is the value of this game?
Super Smash Brothers 3DS
It will be popular in Japan. The truth that everyone needs to know is that Smash Brothers is one of the most overrated games out there. Even with the highly acclaimed Melee, Smash Brothers delivered Gamecube sales.
Portable Smash Brothers will be good if you are into Smash Brothers with friends I guess. Graphically, I thought it looked sad.
Going on to the Wii U…
Super Mario 3d World
I was swearing unprintable things as I saw this. We’ve been asking for return of Super Mario Brothers 2 classes, with the characters of Peach and Toad and Luigi having different attributes, ever since they were sorely missing in the release of Super Mario Brothers 3 back in 1990.
The first reappearance of the classes came… in Mario 64 DS.
In NSMB DS, there were no classes. Everyone asked for them.
In NSMB Wii, it was VERY PAINFUL that all the characters were the same including the Toads. Everyone wanted the characters to be different. EVERYONE.
Miyamoto was interviewed and he specifically said (on more than one occasion I believe) that the reason why Peach couldn’t be put into NSMB Wii’s multiplayer is because they would have to put in ‘dress physics’. Shigeru Miyamoto revealed himself to be full of shit. The true reason why they didn’t do it is because they didn’t want to do it. They want to save it for 3d Mario. It’s the same reason why Giant World is in Mario Galaxy 2 but completely absent in 2d Mario despite it being highly requested.
NSMB 2 has no classes.
NSMB Wii U STILL has no classes despite EVERYONE complaining about it not being in NSMB Wii.
This is Yet Another Attempt by Nintendo to try to have 3d Mario kill 2d Mario. What advantage does 2d Mario have over 3d Mario? In Nintendo’s eyes, it is multiplayer. So with multiplayer 3d Mario, Nintendo hopes this will end 2d Mario. But has there ever been an entertaining simultaneously multiplayer 3d platformer? What on Earth could be interesting about ‘searching for stars’ or whatever together?
I know 3d Mario fans have been unhappy with the direction 3d Mario has been going lately. They would be happy, as would I, with separate 2d Mario and 3d Mario series. This is not the case. It is CLEAR AS GLASS that 3d Mario is being developed in such a way to intentionally take 2d Mario features and place them in 3d Mario while simultaneously retarding 2d Mario. All the simple things we’ve wanted in 2d Mario are not being delivered on purpose. Investors should realize this. The purpose of Nintendo is not to make games that make money and move hardware but a selfish desire of the developers to make games they prefer to make.
I know that my site has been mined by Nintendo over the years for information, feedback, and how to improve some games. I know this was done partially with the making of Mario in 3d Land.
No more. I am not going to give you guys the sword to stab what I like about gaming. No more feedback from me on what needs to be done. Nintendo will have to rely on the game message forums and Mii-verse for now on (and good luck with that).
I do note that the ‘exciting features’ Nintendo showed such as Mega Man in Smash Brothers or different classes in 3d Mario all come from the NES Era. The more Nintendo does this, the more they prove I’m correct in that all Nintendo can do is keep robbing from the NES era. But they’re running out of things to rob. What’s next? Subcon in the next 3d Mario game? (because Miyamoto will NEVER allow it for 2d Mario. 2d Mario must be starved while all the stuff people want will go to 3d Mario instead)
Wind Waker HD
This game looked atrocious with a TERRIBLE art style back during the Gamecube Era. Everyone hated it. The sales showed this. NOA admitted the art style scared gamers.
Wind Waker is another example of our ‘In-Your-Face’ Nintendo. They’re taking the most hated Zelda game, making it HD and re-releasing it, just because. They’re even leaving Tingle in it. And everyone hates Tingle.
Note how they have added no new content to the game. They add stuff like ‘after-burner’ for the sails because the gameplay was so ridiculously boring in Wind Waker.
Mario Kart 8
In my vow not to give Nintendo advice, all I’m going to say is that this game is doing everything wrong. It looks bloated to hell, still has the crappy kites, and relies on a gimmick (anti-gravity).
“Why does it rely on the anti-gravity gimmick, Malstrom?”
I’m glad you asked, reader. It is more effort to ram 3d gameplay down our throats. Racers always worked well in 3d because 3d made no difference with racers. A 3d racer plays exactly like Pole Position or Rad Racer did. With ‘anti-gravity’, this is going to force the 3d elements onto the players and will likely become incredibly unpopular. It is a level of complication to Mario Kart that no one asked for and no one wants.
But this is the ‘In-Your-Face’ Nintendo. I can’t wait to read shareholder complaints when Mario Kart 8 is such a MASSIVE DROP from Mario Kart Wii. And believe me, reader, it WILL be a massive drop.
New Super Luigi
Downloadable content. We know this is cheap factory produced crap. Moving on…
Pikmin 3
The massive fanbase behind the Pikmin 1 and 2 juggernauts that launched the Gamecube to the sales stratosphere will be the same forces to make Pikmin 3 a success.
Oh, I can’t keep a straight face. Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. No one is going to buy Pikmin 3. The reason why it is there because Miyamoto couldn’t shut his mouth at E3 2008 and said it was in ‘development’ when it wasn’t. It forced Nintendo to spend half a decade to make a game no one is going to buy.
Donkey Kong Country Something Freeze
This is what Retro has been stuck doing? How sad. I don’t feel I’m missing anything by not playing this game.
Dixie being added is a very good touch however.
When Rare made Donkey Kong Country 2, the game had PIRATES. Vikings are lame. The entire mythos of the game seems lame.
Various Third Party Titles
Ohhhh, it’s Batman! *Yawn*
Does anyone see anything interesting here? Sigh.
Bayonetta 2
Game looks like it was designed for perverts. Has too much wacky crappy anime influence for this game to ever be popular.
Wonderful 101
I was impressed with the upgrade system. The game seems to want to have some element of growth and not just be an action game. Could be worth looking forward to.
It will never sell, of course. There is no hero, no protagonist. The ‘masses’ will never be a hero because the consumer is a member of the ‘masses’.
Monolift Game
Open world seems very interesting. Unfortunately, it will never sell. Too many anime influences such as GIANT ROBOT THAT STICKS OUT. Anime influences are a kill to international sales. Hell, I doubt the game will sell in Japan anyway.
Super Smash Brothers Wii U
Nothing new here. Perhaps other information will be revealed.
What is interesting is the addition of Mega Man and his abilities. Note that in order to make Smash Brothers interesting, Nintendo has to again draw up the bucket from the NES well. This isn’t the Mega Man from Mega Man X or ZX or even 9 or 10. This is Mega Man 2, Mega Man 1, Mega Man 3 type Mega Man.
I’m still waiting for someone wishing to compete with the NES era instead of just rob bits and pieces from it and call it its own. What’s next? Samuel Belmont in Smash Brothers? Or what about Edrick from Dragon Quest? Why not include the dog from Duck Hunt? At least people have been waiting decades to beat him up.
Wii U Party
Nintendo has fallen for the Birdman and thinks the Wii success was due to ‘party games’. So instead of making something cool like a Wii Sports, we get ‘Wii U Party’. It is dead on arrival.
Wii U Fit
Dead on arrival. This game is being made due to inertia, due to the momentum of the Wii title spilling over to this console. No one is going to buy a Wii U for this game.
Market Outlook for Wii U
Wii U will sell more during the holiday because Nintendo products go up a great deal at that time. Everyone will think it is due to Super Mario 3d World or some other game. But that is not what is going on.
All these games are Gamecube games with the exception of Donkey Kong Country. And Donkey Kong Country stopped being a hardware seller after the first one during the 16-bit era. Wind Waker actually is a Gamecube game.
I can’t see any of these games becoming breakout hits. Nintendo is in serious trouble. This is worse than the Gamecube.
But hey! This is ‘In Your Face’ Nintendo where the game developers do whatever the hell they want regardless of what the market desires. Never have I seen a more selfish company.
I will be enjoying the decline of Nintendo with Generation 8. If anything, I am happy to reveal to the world the true character of the people behind Nintendo. It is wonderful to accurately tell people that Shigeru Miyamoto does not want to make you happy, that he is a selfish asshole who wants to force gaming to go a certain way (e.g. more 3d). Iwata isn’t interested in making the shareholders more money. Iwata is interested in allowing the software developers to do whatever they want. This is what happens when have the game developer be the company president.
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